I haven't updated this thing in forever, but I have some free time right now, and nothing better to do and thought I would kill some time with an update.
Well, it has been a while since I've actually looked at this thing. I believe it was beginning of the summer, so almost a year, jesus I am old. Some quick updates: dropped the ANS major (still not official, but it is definitely happening) and am looking into either Animal Biology (which is far more politician than I would have liked in my major) or Neurobiology, Physiology, and Behavioral Science (NPB). I am currently leaning towards NPB, but I haven't taken a course in it yet, so I am going to take NPB 101 in the fall to see if I like it. I will also be adding my double major in studio art after this quarter because I finally took my two upper division course (two senior level art history courses) in order to add the double major, so that is all set up for fall quarter. Then I can start taking my basic art classes and work on my double major and getting out of here in 4 years. yay!
I've also started doing research in med schools. I haven't entirely given up on being a vet since i have never really gotten hands on experience in the emergency vet field; but, I am also opening up my options to med school. Right now I really want to go to med school at New York School of Medicine (I know). That means my measly 3.0 gpa needs to get inflated to a 3.4-3.7 ish. Shooting for New York has really given the motivation I've needed to start doing better in school. I was really struggling fall quarter where I got a C in ochem and I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do anymore, but ever since I started shooting for New York my grades have been improving. I just need to keep focused. Unfortunately, I am the kin of person whose determination often blinds them. I did this in high school too. I got so focused on colleges my social life suffered consequently, and ultimately stunted my social maturity. I had been improving since I started college, but it appears that I've fallen back into the same pattern. Can a person really unlearn their habits? I can't help but wonder how much is built in them. But, that just me getting too deep. Don't get me wrong, there are many things that I learned about myself freshman year, and I made the point to really work on certain traits that I didn't like, and some of them did stick; however, other did not.
I am very good at pushing people away. Surface relationships seem to be the best I can achieve. I made some real progress freshman year making really close friends who understood me, but I pushed those people away. FAR AWAY. I am back to where I started, essentially, with surface relationships. Even though I have regressed in that area, I have become alot more comfortable with myself and that has had a very positive impact on my friends. It helps me understand other people and their problems, and gives me the ability to talk to them and see their problems through their eyes. That has always been a strong point of mine, but I have recently gotten very good at it. Maybe I should go into psychology or something, hahhahaha. This all makes me sound so pretentious, but in all honesty I feel like I deal with alot of my friends problems, and I really don't have a problem with that or anything, in fact I enjoy it to some degree, but it makes it difficult when you can see everyone else and no one really bothers to look at you. I am not sure that came out they way I wanted, but I don't think I am going to change it. hahahah this sounds so damn emo, but it is really how i feel alot of the time, even though I am pretty sure it is not true at all.
Ask anyone in my family, I am a pretty transparent person. I let you know how I feel all the time, without a filter, I have the WORST poker face (and yet I am not awful at poker), and it is not really difficult to sense how I am feeling (most likely because I told you). And yet, I feel like nobody (ok, lie. one person DID) really understands me as a person. Sounds pathetic actually. But that's the way it feels. It feels like I am always listening and never talking about my problems, which is why I guess I find the need to vent with this bloody thing. And the one person who was actually intrested in me as a person, I pushed away. FAIL.
Nothing I can do about it really now. It is probably best if I just take up this pent-up frustration and channel it into being super busy all the time. hahhaa, that is another strong point of mine. I can always find a way to get really really busy. So busy that I don't have to deal with my own emotions. That god for that quality.
Enough of this emotional shit that has no particular value to my life as a whole. I am kinda excited for summer? When I get back, on the 12th of frekaing June, my folks planned us flying out on a family vacation to England and Ireland. I am super stoked. I have never been abroad, so I am really looking forward to go exploring in a different country. I have always been a fan of culture shock, and always been interested in that sort of stuff. We will be in each country a week, then I come back and either go to work at APL for summer (I hear if they accepted my research submission at the end of the month) orrr I do nothing and wait to go back school a month later. If I am going back to school, I will prob bring my car out and make a road trip out of it. I want to go across the country, see whats really in America. I am planning to go up and visit my Aunt Joanna in Minnesota, but the trip isn't definite yet, so I don't want to tell her just yet. AH! And she is currently pregnant with twins. Freaking awesome. I am going to have twin cousins. So excited. i am also really excited to see Ben, and hopefully be there for his birthday? I am not sure if I will be there for that, but it would be great to see him. I freaking love kids. I really want my own, but I am like 19 and planning on going to grad school, so that isn't going to happen for a while. ugh. I want 3 kids right now (it changes alot) it doesn't really matter what sex they are, as long as they aren't all the same. I would want either 2 girls and 1 boy or, more preferably, 2 boys and a girl. I have no idea why I want kids so freaking bad, especially when I know I am probably the last one of the Hackett trio that is going to reproduce. James is going to be the first because he is also likes kids and doesn't want them. Therefore, he is going to have them first. Then Kate, because she is already out of college, and has a much better of chance of having kids sooner than I do. I am going to be in school forever, and probably going to end up in a lifestyle where having kids would be an inconvenience, knowing my personality and all. So yea. I really want kids. But, I don't want to deal with the hassle of a spouse. I'd pull off the single parent routine. Again, another reason I am not having kids for a while, I may love kids, but I can't seem to hold a real relationship for longer than two weeks. Thats right. My currently record for a relationship is two freaking weeks. Bleh.
Thats my mother's worst fear for me I think. She really doesn't want me to end up alone forever, only having these surface relationships. Mom and I had a lengthy conversation about it. She thinks I am going to end up in an apartment for the rest of my life living alone. She is probably right. Note: I HATE living alone. I am living alone this year in an apartment far off campus and it sucks. It is great for when I need to study, like this weekend, or when I need to be a bitch for a day and seclude myself away to keep from damaging others. But seriously. I am not the kind of person that can live without having other people around. Just someone around who I can talk to when I am bored and keep my entertained on a general level. Last year I had a really close group of friends who I basically lived with because I was over at their place ALL THE TIME. This year it is almost like I've quarantined myself and surgically removed that kind of relationship out of my life. it sucks. alot. I get bored, and have nothing to do which leads to dangerous activities, such as thinking. Like if I had someone with me here right now, I wouldn't have to be blogging, I could just be watching a movie with a friend or something. But alas. I am tired of this. I am going to bed.
In conclusion the currently update in my life is this: i am usually typical.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Monday, July 6, 2009
Bored and Hella Cranky
So, I know its been a while, but I have absolutely nothing better to do. I am still unemployed, and bored through out the day, and am currently watching other people's home.One of these homes is the McDonalds. They went to the beach for 2 weeks, except Kendrick had to come back a week early for swimming. He is upstairs in the house I am watching. Awkward. Whatever, I am driving him to practice in like an hour and a half, so I suppose it will only be awkward for a semi-short period of time. I think its mostly awkward because I kinda live here, and all my stuff is here, and scattered about, and I haven't cleaned up yet, cause I still live here. enh.
Being unemployed sucks. I thought I would have a nice job when I got here, but the pool was like "I don't know when the next training session is, or if we are having one at all." Kill me. So now I am waiting to hear from Dr.McCrary for Johns Hopkins APL. I would love to work there. Doing actual research in the actual field and being paid to do it. How rocking awesome would that be.
mmmmmm...need to kill more time. I guess I can kill alot of time talking about swimming. SOoo I'll be coaching next year AND swimming. huzzah? It was difficult to think about, but I have reconciled my feelings about it all, and decided to get back into the game. Then I decided that if I am getting back in the game, I am going to be shooting high. Junior Nationals. It is a doable goal, and it would be nice to say that I actually went.
side note- to make the situation more awkward-Cameron is here as well, which isn't a problem, cause he's an ok kid, but he makes me feel both old and awkward. Worst part of this fact all together, though, is that he is down stairs, Kendirck is upstairs, and I am just killing time, writing in my blog, in the living room. AWKWARD. whatever. I've been too tired to uphold social grace. side note over
Although, speaking about being cranky, I have been a pill lately. I don't know why exactly, but I have been a real bitch. I think it is a combination of being unemployed and not being in CA. I miss CA. Not the heat so much, but the sun, the friends, and the random adventures I would go on, like every weekend. BUT BUT BUT, speaking of random adventures, I UBER excited for my trip to NYC with my girl Hope this weekend. SO excited. We are going to have a blast. But, overall I am ready to get out of here. I miss my Jew, my hippie, my conservative dope, my cowgirl, and the lax bro. :( I don't like getting attached to people, and I didn't actually think I ever would. But, I suppose there are some people that just sink their way in. Don't get me wrong, there are a few people here who are really important to me. Kendrick may be socially immature sometimes, but he (and his family) have helped me realize that not only am I a push over, but I am also a good person, whether or not I want people to think otherwise. Then there is Kim too. She has always been there for me, and I love her to death. She really just gets me, and no matter how much I ever try to front with her, she can always see right through the smoke and mirrors. She keeps me in check, and I am there for her whenever she needs me. Basically, I won't be sitting next to her in jail, but I will bail her out if she calls.
That would explain why I acted the way I did when I first went to Davis. In Maryland, I am a pushover, and a generally nice guy (except for when I am cranky, which is often) (all of which was a bit of a front, by the way). So I wanted to change that and become someone you can't walk all over. It was easy enough, for a while. Then I got REAL friends. Friends who you end up in jail with. Unfortunately, the surface stuff doesn't really cut it. So, I had to show them my "real" self. Problem with that is that I really don't know who precisely that is. SO, I do believe I am stuck. Stuck somewhere in between wanting to be able to show myself to my friends, but not really knowing where to start. Still bored, and have another hour (or so) of social awkwardness. Guess I should keep venting :/
uhhhhhhh. I don't even know what to really write about. Just being bored. Listening to Demi Lovato (shut-up). I guess I could write about my future academically. I know I am talking animal science 41, and then most likely switching my major after that. After animal science 2, I am fairly sure that animal science is not for me. I hated that class with a passion. The idea of understanding the animal system, and hormones, simply to utilize it for our own beneficial gain.....not something I really want a part of. So, I am going to take Wildlife and Fish conservation biology 50, where I get to see if I really like that major. If I do, I will switch, and that will be the end of it. Then I will apply to vet school in exotic animals, and become a famous world famous vet and travel across the planet. end. Mother doens't really approve of this plan. She wants me to find a job in animal science small vet stuff. It is practical career, and I have been looking at it all my life. I don't think she was ready for me to give up such a stable dream. She has warmed up to the idea, but she is still rather uncomfortable with me switching to a little more unstable career....still bored.
BUT! I have killed another half an hour (mostly due to skypeing sharyn (THANK YOU SHARYN)).......murrr i think im just about done here. I have done all the damage I can possibly do via blogging. I think I will try to skype it up more, and if that doesnt work, I'll just come back here.
cheers
Being unemployed sucks. I thought I would have a nice job when I got here, but the pool was like "I don't know when the next training session is, or if we are having one at all." Kill me. So now I am waiting to hear from Dr.McCrary for Johns Hopkins APL. I would love to work there. Doing actual research in the actual field and being paid to do it. How rocking awesome would that be.
mmmmmm...need to kill more time. I guess I can kill alot of time talking about swimming. SOoo I'll be coaching next year AND swimming. huzzah? It was difficult to think about, but I have reconciled my feelings about it all, and decided to get back into the game. Then I decided that if I am getting back in the game, I am going to be shooting high. Junior Nationals. It is a doable goal, and it would be nice to say that I actually went.
side note- to make the situation more awkward-Cameron is here as well, which isn't a problem, cause he's an ok kid, but he makes me feel both old and awkward. Worst part of this fact all together, though, is that he is down stairs, Kendirck is upstairs, and I am just killing time, writing in my blog, in the living room. AWKWARD. whatever. I've been too tired to uphold social grace. side note over
Although, speaking about being cranky, I have been a pill lately. I don't know why exactly, but I have been a real bitch. I think it is a combination of being unemployed and not being in CA. I miss CA. Not the heat so much, but the sun, the friends, and the random adventures I would go on, like every weekend. BUT BUT BUT, speaking of random adventures, I UBER excited for my trip to NYC with my girl Hope this weekend. SO excited. We are going to have a blast. But, overall I am ready to get out of here. I miss my Jew, my hippie, my conservative dope, my cowgirl, and the lax bro. :( I don't like getting attached to people, and I didn't actually think I ever would. But, I suppose there are some people that just sink their way in. Don't get me wrong, there are a few people here who are really important to me. Kendrick may be socially immature sometimes, but he (and his family) have helped me realize that not only am I a push over, but I am also a good person, whether or not I want people to think otherwise. Then there is Kim too. She has always been there for me, and I love her to death. She really just gets me, and no matter how much I ever try to front with her, she can always see right through the smoke and mirrors. She keeps me in check, and I am there for her whenever she needs me. Basically, I won't be sitting next to her in jail, but I will bail her out if she calls.
That would explain why I acted the way I did when I first went to Davis. In Maryland, I am a pushover, and a generally nice guy (except for when I am cranky, which is often) (all of which was a bit of a front, by the way). So I wanted to change that and become someone you can't walk all over. It was easy enough, for a while. Then I got REAL friends. Friends who you end up in jail with. Unfortunately, the surface stuff doesn't really cut it. So, I had to show them my "real" self. Problem with that is that I really don't know who precisely that is. SO, I do believe I am stuck. Stuck somewhere in between wanting to be able to show myself to my friends, but not really knowing where to start. Still bored, and have another hour (or so) of social awkwardness. Guess I should keep venting :/
uhhhhhhh. I don't even know what to really write about. Just being bored. Listening to Demi Lovato (shut-up). I guess I could write about my future academically. I know I am talking animal science 41, and then most likely switching my major after that. After animal science 2, I am fairly sure that animal science is not for me. I hated that class with a passion. The idea of understanding the animal system, and hormones, simply to utilize it for our own beneficial gain.....not something I really want a part of. So, I am going to take Wildlife and Fish conservation biology 50, where I get to see if I really like that major. If I do, I will switch, and that will be the end of it. Then I will apply to vet school in exotic animals, and become a famous world famous vet and travel across the planet. end. Mother doens't really approve of this plan. She wants me to find a job in animal science small vet stuff. It is practical career, and I have been looking at it all my life. I don't think she was ready for me to give up such a stable dream. She has warmed up to the idea, but she is still rather uncomfortable with me switching to a little more unstable career....still bored.
BUT! I have killed another half an hour (mostly due to skypeing sharyn (THANK YOU SHARYN)).......murrr i think im just about done here. I have done all the damage I can possibly do via blogging. I think I will try to skype it up more, and if that doesnt work, I'll just come back here.
cheers
Monday, April 27, 2009
boreddd
so im currently bored because i have nothing to do tonight. Tuesdays I have no classes, so I will do my homework then. It is Monday night. I am bored. :P. Overall update i suppose would take up enough time to kill some of this boredom. Huzaahhh
So, basically. Classes this quarter are the biggest bitch ever. I get up at 8 and go off to chem, which all and all isnt that bad, in fact it has actually been getting rather interesting recently, it is just that i have no time to really get into it :/. Then, I get breakfast from 10-11. logical. no, but i have never been very logical, which is kinda of weird because my parents and siblings are VERY logically people. Whatever. Then its off to animal science. Let me say this now, I HATE THAT CLASS. We learn about the systems of very particular animals, and then how we can manipulate things in their system to get the most out of them. They are nothing more than a bloody resource! Uhhh. I really hate learning about a certain system for something soooo worthless, in my opinion at least. But its ok. Wildlife and Fish Conservation. Dear Lord I LOVE THAT CLASS. It is like they take the components of animals science, psychology, biology, chemistry, and all the other classes that I love, and put them together. It is freaking amazing. I feel like such a hippie in that class, but whatever. Maybe I am sort of a hippie. What are you going to do about it? :P Then, I get a break for lunch. for an hour. Then its off to bio. Overall the class is ok. I think I am going to get a B in it. Maybe a B plus. Who knows. I got a B on the midterm. Wheee. Since that was the first midterm, I will prob get a B plus in the class. Overall it is a long day. very long. I then go to the gym and try not kill myself.
So yea. Classes right now suck. I will probably get a B plus in chem and bio, then an A in wfc, and then i really am going to pray for a B in animal science. GOD I HATE THAT CLASS. The teacher is also incredibly boring. His voice makes me want to sleep. Or hit him on the head with a broken bottle. One of the two. XP. Perhaps a tad harsh, but it is true. ohh, and mother dear, i am not going to retract that statement for its graphic content :P.
mmmmmmm. Beyond the usually complaining about life, I am ready for summer. I am tired of classes right now :/. Whats worse is that everyone is getting off from school, in like a week or two, and I am stuck here for another month XP. Month and a half really, but who is counting? I will hopefully have a job lined up already when i get home, so i will be getting money :). and I am just ready to go home and see some people (not everyone) and hang out with those kids i was too dumb to hang out with high school. Seriously, I think I spent more time with the kids who were making fun of me behind my back, then with the kids who were actually my friends. :P. Sad really. Well, it was probably because I was such a stereotypical teenager. My god I was trying to fit in all the time! Well, guess what everyone, I have done some growing, and I don't need your bullshit anymore :). True friends, you know who you are, I promise to be a better friend to you guys, and I promise, we will have more fun this summer than you can possible imagine :D. kosher fun people. and no im not jewish, but i like that word :P, thanks for that jenn :).
So in conclusion, people be aware that I am either going to spend more time with you when I get home, or I won't. The people I hang out with/ text/ whatever, are people I want to hang out with. So to all you jerks from high school who made fun of me behind my back, hope it was worth it :P. [ohhh and so i dont confuse certain people these jerks are not kendrick m. (dude you know your boss, i doubt you even thought i am talking about you, but i bet you know who i am talking about), mandy bowers (we are going to nyc or if your stuck in school im coming to visit, end), sharyn e. (i am coming to visit you one weekend, be excited), hope llanso (gurllll we are hittin up some macdawLaldsss), jimmy forest (we are sooo going to qudoba), patrick b. (i miss you :'( where have you gone?), alex dannelly (we NEED to hang out, cause i NEVER see you), allison k. (call me when you get back, i enjoy our chats darling), the one and only rosie m. (in freaking england :P), kelsey smith (love you girl, miss you), prathana v. (girl, one: your name is ridiculous to spell sometimes :P, two: I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!), kim mangus. (i dont think you made fun of me behind my back :/) and prob a ton of people i missed, but this was just off the top of my head. Sorry if I missed you and you were a really good friend to me in high school, and WE WILL hang out during summer, so dont worry :).] Geez that was long. But! It killed time!
So, basically. Classes this quarter are the biggest bitch ever. I get up at 8 and go off to chem, which all and all isnt that bad, in fact it has actually been getting rather interesting recently, it is just that i have no time to really get into it :/. Then, I get breakfast from 10-11. logical. no, but i have never been very logical, which is kinda of weird because my parents and siblings are VERY logically people. Whatever. Then its off to animal science. Let me say this now, I HATE THAT CLASS. We learn about the systems of very particular animals, and then how we can manipulate things in their system to get the most out of them. They are nothing more than a bloody resource! Uhhh. I really hate learning about a certain system for something soooo worthless, in my opinion at least. But its ok. Wildlife and Fish Conservation. Dear Lord I LOVE THAT CLASS. It is like they take the components of animals science, psychology, biology, chemistry, and all the other classes that I love, and put them together. It is freaking amazing. I feel like such a hippie in that class, but whatever. Maybe I am sort of a hippie. What are you going to do about it? :P Then, I get a break for lunch. for an hour. Then its off to bio. Overall the class is ok. I think I am going to get a B in it. Maybe a B plus. Who knows. I got a B on the midterm. Wheee. Since that was the first midterm, I will prob get a B plus in the class. Overall it is a long day. very long. I then go to the gym and try not kill myself.
So yea. Classes right now suck. I will probably get a B plus in chem and bio, then an A in wfc, and then i really am going to pray for a B in animal science. GOD I HATE THAT CLASS. The teacher is also incredibly boring. His voice makes me want to sleep. Or hit him on the head with a broken bottle. One of the two. XP. Perhaps a tad harsh, but it is true. ohh, and mother dear, i am not going to retract that statement for its graphic content :P.
mmmmmmm. Beyond the usually complaining about life, I am ready for summer. I am tired of classes right now :/. Whats worse is that everyone is getting off from school, in like a week or two, and I am stuck here for another month XP. Month and a half really, but who is counting? I will hopefully have a job lined up already when i get home, so i will be getting money :). and I am just ready to go home and see some people (not everyone) and hang out with those kids i was too dumb to hang out with high school. Seriously, I think I spent more time with the kids who were making fun of me behind my back, then with the kids who were actually my friends. :P. Sad really. Well, it was probably because I was such a stereotypical teenager. My god I was trying to fit in all the time! Well, guess what everyone, I have done some growing, and I don't need your bullshit anymore :). True friends, you know who you are, I promise to be a better friend to you guys, and I promise, we will have more fun this summer than you can possible imagine :D. kosher fun people. and no im not jewish, but i like that word :P, thanks for that jenn :).
So in conclusion, people be aware that I am either going to spend more time with you when I get home, or I won't. The people I hang out with/ text/ whatever, are people I want to hang out with. So to all you jerks from high school who made fun of me behind my back, hope it was worth it :P. [ohhh and so i dont confuse certain people these jerks are not kendrick m. (dude you know your boss, i doubt you even thought i am talking about you, but i bet you know who i am talking about), mandy bowers (we are going to nyc or if your stuck in school im coming to visit, end), sharyn e. (i am coming to visit you one weekend, be excited), hope llanso (gurllll we are hittin up some macdawLaldsss), jimmy forest (we are sooo going to qudoba), patrick b. (i miss you :'( where have you gone?), alex dannelly (we NEED to hang out, cause i NEVER see you), allison k. (call me when you get back, i enjoy our chats darling), the one and only rosie m. (in freaking england :P), kelsey smith (love you girl, miss you), prathana v. (girl, one: your name is ridiculous to spell sometimes :P, two: I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!), kim mangus. (i dont think you made fun of me behind my back :/) and prob a ton of people i missed, but this was just off the top of my head. Sorry if I missed you and you were a really good friend to me in high school, and WE WILL hang out during summer, so dont worry :).] Geez that was long. But! It killed time!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
thus begins the spring
So, spring is a bitch. I currently cannot sleep, and yet, about three hours ago I could barely function to type up my biology homework. Logical? NO. It was probably the coffee I drank three hours ago, but seriously, I only had one cup, and it was three hours ago. That should not be keeping me up. Wheeee
So, summary of how life has been. Spring break rocked socks. Seriously it rocked so hard, my socks literally were rocked off. That and Candy, Jessie's cat, was chewing on them. For those who do not know, I went to Paso Robles for spring break! Yay! We went to SLO a couple of time, and we went to the beach ALOT! I loved the beach! It was amazing! And I found this cool shell that jessie made a necklace for me, which I will wear as much as possible because it reminds me of that amazing spring break. We also sat out and ate burgers on the beach, and stayed up late watching movies, and went start gazing a couple of times. Over all Paso is beautiful and amazing. OH! AND! there were sealsss!!! On the beach!! :D. It was very exciting to see one! and then we found one on the beach, and I got so close I could have touched it. I didn't, but just knowing I could have made me happy. So yea break was amazing, hands down. AND, i kinda got tan! Exciting? I think so. Well, it was more like sun burned. But it kinda looks like a tan now. And it does not hurt, sooooo, i want to chop that under tan. :D
Then we came back to school. That sentence it self is a menace to society. Uhhhh. I have been back a week, and what a hellish week it has been. My Mondays absolutely suck. I have class from 9 am until 10 pm at night. XP. 8 hours of class on Mondays are awful. I feel like I am done, but then, I'm not. PLUS I got hit by a car this week on Monday. XP. I was biking to go get a package from the post office, and I was on the bike path, and this car decides to turn right without looking, and sends me flying. I was fine, his car was in bad shape. But w/e. It was just icing on a bad day cake. uhhhhh. Tuesdays are nice though. No classes. But, I still have tae kwon do from 6:30-8:30 and that really kicked my butt this week. Seriously I am so sore. Made Wendsday even worse. Wendsday is really long too, and I thought I had tae kwon do at night too, but I dont, so that makes things easier!! We shall see how Thursdays go. It is even more complicated cause I am declaring a double major. That's right people, I am declaring another major! and a specialization. Ready for it? I am going to declare an art major with animal science specialized in marine animals :D:D!! I so excited. I am just getting the paper work approved now, and I have my moms blessing, so all is good!!!
So yea. It has been a busy week. And my mommy and little brother are coming to visit next week!! ahhh!!! im both excited but nervous. Means I have to clean up my room before they get here :/. Wow. I am soooo bored. Coffee is still keeping me up though :S. What to do?!?! God I am going to crash so bad tomorrow.
So, summary of how life has been. Spring break rocked socks. Seriously it rocked so hard, my socks literally were rocked off. That and Candy, Jessie's cat, was chewing on them. For those who do not know, I went to Paso Robles for spring break! Yay! We went to SLO a couple of time, and we went to the beach ALOT! I loved the beach! It was amazing! And I found this cool shell that jessie made a necklace for me, which I will wear as much as possible because it reminds me of that amazing spring break. We also sat out and ate burgers on the beach, and stayed up late watching movies, and went start gazing a couple of times. Over all Paso is beautiful and amazing. OH! AND! there were sealsss!!! On the beach!! :D. It was very exciting to see one! and then we found one on the beach, and I got so close I could have touched it. I didn't, but just knowing I could have made me happy. So yea break was amazing, hands down. AND, i kinda got tan! Exciting? I think so. Well, it was more like sun burned. But it kinda looks like a tan now. And it does not hurt, sooooo, i want to chop that under tan. :D
Then we came back to school. That sentence it self is a menace to society. Uhhhh. I have been back a week, and what a hellish week it has been. My Mondays absolutely suck. I have class from 9 am until 10 pm at night. XP. 8 hours of class on Mondays are awful. I feel like I am done, but then, I'm not. PLUS I got hit by a car this week on Monday. XP. I was biking to go get a package from the post office, and I was on the bike path, and this car decides to turn right without looking, and sends me flying. I was fine, his car was in bad shape. But w/e. It was just icing on a bad day cake. uhhhhh. Tuesdays are nice though. No classes. But, I still have tae kwon do from 6:30-8:30 and that really kicked my butt this week. Seriously I am so sore. Made Wendsday even worse. Wendsday is really long too, and I thought I had tae kwon do at night too, but I dont, so that makes things easier!! We shall see how Thursdays go. It is even more complicated cause I am declaring a double major. That's right people, I am declaring another major! and a specialization. Ready for it? I am going to declare an art major with animal science specialized in marine animals :D:D!! I so excited. I am just getting the paper work approved now, and I have my moms blessing, so all is good!!!
So yea. It has been a busy week. And my mommy and little brother are coming to visit next week!! ahhh!!! im both excited but nervous. Means I have to clean up my room before they get here :/. Wow. I am soooo bored. Coffee is still keeping me up though :S. What to do?!?! God I am going to crash so bad tomorrow.
Friday, March 6, 2009
WOW
Haven't updated this thing in a while. To be honest I have been avoiding it a little. I am terrified of going back into emo mode, after my last post (it got hastily withdrawn). It was basically an emo rant, that is all you need to know.
I am on call tonight.
There are problems among friends, and it is my job to stand by with a box of tissues, and a consolidating nod here and there. But, I know my role this time. People do not want to hear solutions to their problems. Not tonight. Tonight, they just want to attack until there is nothing left to attack. So, here I am. Ready to pick up the pieces.
Of course, the details are vague. It might even happen tonight. I might not even be needed. But I will be here, just in case. Pathetic. Perhaps.
Well, to fill everyone in on the details of my life, i suppose I should get started. Not much has changed since winter break. I now like who I am, I am not ashamed of who I was, and I am proud of the progression I made from what I was to what I am. Of course, this is only a small step, and I am sure I will have many more as I get older. But for now, my life is stable. That is all I can ask for.
Other than that, there are the little things. Classes are going, well, somewhat smoothly. Math sucks, of course. If I work my butt off I can get a B, so I will probably end up with a C or a B-. Yay! Chem is going surprisingly well. I might even get an A. Yay! English is really easy. But, as much as I loath how easy it is, I actually kind of enjoy it. I enjoying sitting, getting ready to write, and not have to worry about being wrong. I just figure out what the author is saying, and figure out what I want to say with it, and start writing, with no inabitions. Anywho. I just had really long chat with a new friend who goes to UCD and is from HoCo MD!!!!! Seriously amazing! And she is not some creepy weirdo!!!! yes!! I cannot wait to meet her in person at chipotle on Thurday!! uber excited!
I am on call tonight.
There are problems among friends, and it is my job to stand by with a box of tissues, and a consolidating nod here and there. But, I know my role this time. People do not want to hear solutions to their problems. Not tonight. Tonight, they just want to attack until there is nothing left to attack. So, here I am. Ready to pick up the pieces.
Of course, the details are vague. It might even happen tonight. I might not even be needed. But I will be here, just in case. Pathetic. Perhaps.
Well, to fill everyone in on the details of my life, i suppose I should get started. Not much has changed since winter break. I now like who I am, I am not ashamed of who I was, and I am proud of the progression I made from what I was to what I am. Of course, this is only a small step, and I am sure I will have many more as I get older. But for now, my life is stable. That is all I can ask for.
Other than that, there are the little things. Classes are going, well, somewhat smoothly. Math sucks, of course. If I work my butt off I can get a B, so I will probably end up with a C or a B-. Yay! Chem is going surprisingly well. I might even get an A. Yay! English is really easy. But, as much as I loath how easy it is, I actually kind of enjoy it. I enjoying sitting, getting ready to write, and not have to worry about being wrong. I just figure out what the author is saying, and figure out what I want to say with it, and start writing, with no inabitions. Anywho. I just had really long chat with a new friend who goes to UCD and is from HoCo MD!!!!! Seriously amazing! And she is not some creepy weirdo!!!! yes!! I cannot wait to meet her in person at chipotle on Thurday!! uber excited!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Been a while
Sooo, I haven't been very studious with this thing......whoops. Oh well. I guess I should give some update.....where to start
I guess we should start by saying that Doug is amazing, and I am sad the second season is not on itunes. Also should mention, Chalky, is amazing, and his last name is studebaker, and he is amazing *swoon*. Yea, basically, how this came to be, is Jenn and I found something we both love while Jessie and Evan are off in San Fran for the weekend. We knew we would be hanging out alot, so we needed a bonding factor, and we found it.
Ummmm, got a haircut today, nothing crazy, just a trim ;). Oh yea! well, like I said I stopped water polo, fun sport, just not for me, and I started tae kwon do last week. It is freaking intense! It is nothing like the tae kwon do back home, mostly cause what I was doing was a different style, karate, where tae kwon do straight up is totally different. Its all cardio, and focused on sparring. Alot focused on sparring. Intense though. I remember doing these slidey things, where we had to slide our feet in and out, and my feet kept skidding against the mat, and my feet started bleeding, and everyone was all, oh yea that happens. Then I had to kick like non stop for the rest of the class, my legs were soooo sore on Tues., and Thursday, but not as much, cause I had gotten used to it already mostly. In freaking tense!!! But my kicks are getting really fast and strong, so thats a plus.....i have just been slacking at the gym because tae kwon do is such a good work out right now :D.
Broke my window last night.......explanation? I really dont have one. I was reading with my feet pressed up against the window, and I am all curled up in my happy place reading, and then my feet go straight through the window. Fun shit. Then the maintenance guys come and board it up, and as they are staring at the broken glass on the ground, one of the guys says "Shit that is thick stuff, mustve hit it hard to bust it like that." ......i didn't kick it!!! I was all curled up reading, and then smash!!! my freaking window broke!! ughghgh. So I had to wait for the maintenance people to get their head on straight and board it up. But, my bed is all in front of the window, so they asked me to board it up, and screw the wood in, and hammer out the metal poking out on the other side........so i basically could've done it myself, i just needed the materials. Rawr. So Jenn came over, cause i was a little reluctant leaving my room with a wooden board for a window, and we order chinese and watched doug. I was a good night. I also ordered like 6 books from amazon for a total of 10 bucks, not including shipping, it was like 20 with shipping XP. But still, thats really good. I am super excited for them to come! Mostly because I ran out of things to read. I have become a reading machine lately. I can read about 150 pages in about an hour now......which means I can usually get through a descent sized book in about 3 days or so. Whatever!
Oh Oh OH!!!!!! im uber excited about this one!
I put a deposit on an apartment!! a studio apartment!!! yay!!!! I get an entire studio apartment!!!! there is like soo much room! and it is in such a nice place!!! It is kinda far away from the school, but it is kind of perfect cause there arnt that many people there, and its right next to a grocery store, so i dont NEED my car to do food shopping, its basically perfect. But I still applied for barn residency, mostly cause its free room and bored, for two years. You would have to be a stupid mother trucker to pass that kind of stuff up. Seriously.
That is basically it......nothing too crazy, Jessie and I got into a fight, but it ended quickly. Whatever! I really should get some laundry done, fill out some apartment papers, and then do some post lab.......no me gusta......
I guess we should start by saying that Doug is amazing, and I am sad the second season is not on itunes. Also should mention, Chalky, is amazing, and his last name is studebaker, and he is amazing *swoon*. Yea, basically, how this came to be, is Jenn and I found something we both love while Jessie and Evan are off in San Fran for the weekend. We knew we would be hanging out alot, so we needed a bonding factor, and we found it.
Ummmm, got a haircut today, nothing crazy, just a trim ;). Oh yea! well, like I said I stopped water polo, fun sport, just not for me, and I started tae kwon do last week. It is freaking intense! It is nothing like the tae kwon do back home, mostly cause what I was doing was a different style, karate, where tae kwon do straight up is totally different. Its all cardio, and focused on sparring. Alot focused on sparring. Intense though. I remember doing these slidey things, where we had to slide our feet in and out, and my feet kept skidding against the mat, and my feet started bleeding, and everyone was all, oh yea that happens. Then I had to kick like non stop for the rest of the class, my legs were soooo sore on Tues., and Thursday, but not as much, cause I had gotten used to it already mostly. In freaking tense!!! But my kicks are getting really fast and strong, so thats a plus.....i have just been slacking at the gym because tae kwon do is such a good work out right now :D.
Broke my window last night.......explanation? I really dont have one. I was reading with my feet pressed up against the window, and I am all curled up in my happy place reading, and then my feet go straight through the window. Fun shit. Then the maintenance guys come and board it up, and as they are staring at the broken glass on the ground, one of the guys says "Shit that is thick stuff, mustve hit it hard to bust it like that." ......i didn't kick it!!! I was all curled up reading, and then smash!!! my freaking window broke!! ughghgh. So I had to wait for the maintenance people to get their head on straight and board it up. But, my bed is all in front of the window, so they asked me to board it up, and screw the wood in, and hammer out the metal poking out on the other side........so i basically could've done it myself, i just needed the materials. Rawr. So Jenn came over, cause i was a little reluctant leaving my room with a wooden board for a window, and we order chinese and watched doug. I was a good night. I also ordered like 6 books from amazon for a total of 10 bucks, not including shipping, it was like 20 with shipping XP. But still, thats really good. I am super excited for them to come! Mostly because I ran out of things to read. I have become a reading machine lately. I can read about 150 pages in about an hour now......which means I can usually get through a descent sized book in about 3 days or so. Whatever!
Oh Oh OH!!!!!! im uber excited about this one!
I put a deposit on an apartment!! a studio apartment!!! yay!!!! I get an entire studio apartment!!!! there is like soo much room! and it is in such a nice place!!! It is kinda far away from the school, but it is kind of perfect cause there arnt that many people there, and its right next to a grocery store, so i dont NEED my car to do food shopping, its basically perfect. But I still applied for barn residency, mostly cause its free room and bored, for two years. You would have to be a stupid mother trucker to pass that kind of stuff up. Seriously.
That is basically it......nothing too crazy, Jessie and I got into a fight, but it ended quickly. Whatever! I really should get some laundry done, fill out some apartment papers, and then do some post lab.......no me gusta......
Sunday, February 1, 2009
oh my god forgive me who i am not
Sooo i have not updated this thing in about forever in a half, and there is plenty to tell so buckle yourselves in and hold on tight.
Lets see, lets start with, well i have no idea where to start. I guess we should start with that Ive stopped water polo. Its a fun game, and if had been playing longer and didn't suck as hard as i do, i might have stayed with it. It was simply that i was soo bad, and i felt bad for making my poor team suck even worse then they do already. Basically. But, jessie and i have been going to the gym everyday, so there isn't going to be an issue of me getting fat. I don't plan on it anyway. Then, there are midterms, and how much they suck. I just took all of my midterms, two last week, one the week before, and my GOD they sucked so freaking hard. I got a C on Avian Science= fail, then i am pretty sure i did poorly on my chem and math midterms cause they were much more difficult than i thought they were going to be. Wheee, fun! but but but, English class is amazingly easy! of course this is just workload, so there is not much to be stoked on.....but still the dumb asses in that class make me feel about 200% better about my writing abilities. I love getting As on my paper, makes me feel smart. but other than that i just can not wait to be finished with math and chemistry, i hate them both sooo much. rawr. so yea.
i am thinking of switching my major to wild life dealing with exotic animals. I like wild animals more than goats and cows. Don't get me wrong, love goats, butttttt, i really want to travel to somewhere like the Arctic and study walruses or polar bears or wolves! that would be amazing. wild life vet? idk. I guess i will stay on the animal science vet track for a while, but, i have a nice fall back dream. It is really thanks to jessie, who is kinda mad at me right now, i should probably elaborate.
Soooo, today was pretty normal day. Chillin with Jenn and Jess ( at this point i will call the combined unit Jesn) after i worked out with Jess. All was hunky dory and then we went to Starbucks with Evan and Leah, my god Jenn and Jess love startbucks as much as an alcoholic loves vodka. But anyway, we get back, and go to dinner, nothing fancy, but i had stolen jessie's phone to talk to will about going to dinner, which he didn't, and i still had it. I kept it on my person, even when the girls ran upstairs thinking it would be "cute" to lock Evan and i out of the room....so, Evan and i went upstairs to wills room, and i took a little revenge, Now keep in mind i still had Jessie's phone, and i am not one to let opportunities slip through my fingers so easily. So I texted a good group of random on her phone, some i knew, one or two i didnt, "i hate u, dont talk to me anymore"....most ppl who i texted caught on pretty quickly, i think kelly caught on first. Jane was confused, and i just made her more confused until she called evan and he explained it was me texting her, and she called me an idiot, so i called her a bitch (i may be obnoxious, but i am certainly no idiot). Another girl called her phone directly (the smarter in the bunch if i say so myself) and i told her she was apart of a cruel prank, and she laughed, and we talked a little, and she was nice. But this one guy Bryan(?) was all pissed and being a complete idot about it, not catching on at all. Stupid boy. Turned out this boy was the same that jessie had issues with (and still does i suppose) and she got all mad when i showed her the message that bryan sent back. He was very upset, and i do feel bad for making him upset, but really, the kid is kinda dumb for not catching on, just about everyone else caught on right away, and it was just him in the end......he really should have called or something......but i do feel bad about messing with the crazy. But Jessie was sooo mad, and Jenn and Leah were all defending her friend, Jenn just kicked me and didn't say anything, she kicked me much more than usual, which is fine, cause i did feel bad about Bryan, so i just let that go, and then Leah tried to yell at me for messing with ppl, but i fired back saying that it was just a prank, and everyone (minus Bryan) caught on, and it really didn't hurt anyone (except for maybe this bryan kid, but from what Ive been told it needed to be done anyway). Leah kept trying to say it shouldn't have been done at all, and i fought back saying I'm not sorry for what i did, it was payback for the annoying shit that those girls do, with all lets talk behind the boys back, and have "girl talk" when i don't keep anything from them. I don't have (too if any) many secrets from them, and i really hate it when they feel the need to keep stuff from me, it not just annoying, its kind of insulting. If it was something i didn't need to hear, they should have just told me instead of playing games. Sorry guys, but this how i feel, and you know what, I am not sorry for saying it :P.
So basically, Jessie is upset with me, but i think this will blow over because we are better friends than to let something like this ruin it. and if I'm mistaken, then oh well. I love u guys like family, but you all know how easily detached i am.
Lets see, lets start with, well i have no idea where to start. I guess we should start with that Ive stopped water polo. Its a fun game, and if had been playing longer and didn't suck as hard as i do, i might have stayed with it. It was simply that i was soo bad, and i felt bad for making my poor team suck even worse then they do already. Basically. But, jessie and i have been going to the gym everyday, so there isn't going to be an issue of me getting fat. I don't plan on it anyway. Then, there are midterms, and how much they suck. I just took all of my midterms, two last week, one the week before, and my GOD they sucked so freaking hard. I got a C on Avian Science= fail, then i am pretty sure i did poorly on my chem and math midterms cause they were much more difficult than i thought they were going to be. Wheee, fun! but but but, English class is amazingly easy! of course this is just workload, so there is not much to be stoked on.....but still the dumb asses in that class make me feel about 200% better about my writing abilities. I love getting As on my paper, makes me feel smart. but other than that i just can not wait to be finished with math and chemistry, i hate them both sooo much. rawr. so yea.
i am thinking of switching my major to wild life dealing with exotic animals. I like wild animals more than goats and cows. Don't get me wrong, love goats, butttttt, i really want to travel to somewhere like the Arctic and study walruses or polar bears or wolves! that would be amazing. wild life vet? idk. I guess i will stay on the animal science vet track for a while, but, i have a nice fall back dream. It is really thanks to jessie, who is kinda mad at me right now, i should probably elaborate.
Soooo, today was pretty normal day. Chillin with Jenn and Jess ( at this point i will call the combined unit Jesn) after i worked out with Jess. All was hunky dory and then we went to Starbucks with Evan and Leah, my god Jenn and Jess love startbucks as much as an alcoholic loves vodka. But anyway, we get back, and go to dinner, nothing fancy, but i had stolen jessie's phone to talk to will about going to dinner, which he didn't, and i still had it. I kept it on my person, even when the girls ran upstairs thinking it would be "cute" to lock Evan and i out of the room....so, Evan and i went upstairs to wills room, and i took a little revenge, Now keep in mind i still had Jessie's phone, and i am not one to let opportunities slip through my fingers so easily. So I texted a good group of random on her phone, some i knew, one or two i didnt, "i hate u, dont talk to me anymore"....most ppl who i texted caught on pretty quickly, i think kelly caught on first. Jane was confused, and i just made her more confused until she called evan and he explained it was me texting her, and she called me an idiot, so i called her a bitch (i may be obnoxious, but i am certainly no idiot). Another girl called her phone directly (the smarter in the bunch if i say so myself) and i told her she was apart of a cruel prank, and she laughed, and we talked a little, and she was nice. But this one guy Bryan(?) was all pissed and being a complete idot about it, not catching on at all. Stupid boy. Turned out this boy was the same that jessie had issues with (and still does i suppose) and she got all mad when i showed her the message that bryan sent back. He was very upset, and i do feel bad for making him upset, but really, the kid is kinda dumb for not catching on, just about everyone else caught on right away, and it was just him in the end......he really should have called or something......but i do feel bad about messing with the crazy. But Jessie was sooo mad, and Jenn and Leah were all defending her friend, Jenn just kicked me and didn't say anything, she kicked me much more than usual, which is fine, cause i did feel bad about Bryan, so i just let that go, and then Leah tried to yell at me for messing with ppl, but i fired back saying that it was just a prank, and everyone (minus Bryan) caught on, and it really didn't hurt anyone (except for maybe this bryan kid, but from what Ive been told it needed to be done anyway). Leah kept trying to say it shouldn't have been done at all, and i fought back saying I'm not sorry for what i did, it was payback for the annoying shit that those girls do, with all lets talk behind the boys back, and have "girl talk" when i don't keep anything from them. I don't have (too if any) many secrets from them, and i really hate it when they feel the need to keep stuff from me, it not just annoying, its kind of insulting. If it was something i didn't need to hear, they should have just told me instead of playing games. Sorry guys, but this how i feel, and you know what, I am not sorry for saying it :P.
So basically, Jessie is upset with me, but i think this will blow over because we are better friends than to let something like this ruin it. and if I'm mistaken, then oh well. I love u guys like family, but you all know how easily detached i am.
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