Monday, July 6, 2009

Bored and Hella Cranky

So, I know its been a while, but I have absolutely nothing better to do. I am still unemployed, and bored through out the day, and am currently watching other people's home.One of these homes is the McDonalds. They went to the beach for 2 weeks, except Kendrick had to come back a week early for swimming. He is upstairs in the house I am watching. Awkward. Whatever, I am driving him to practice in like an hour and a half, so I suppose it will only be awkward for a semi-short period of time. I think its mostly awkward because I kinda live here, and all my stuff is here, and scattered about, and I haven't cleaned up yet, cause I still live here. enh.

Being unemployed sucks. I thought I would have a nice job when I got here, but the pool was like "I don't know when the next training session is, or if we are having one at all." Kill me. So now I am waiting to hear from Dr.McCrary for Johns Hopkins APL. I would love to work there. Doing actual research in the actual field and being paid to do it. How rocking awesome would that be.

mmmmmm...need to kill more time. I guess I can kill alot of time talking about swimming. SOoo I'll be coaching next year AND swimming. huzzah? It was difficult to think about, but I have reconciled my feelings about it all, and decided to get back into the game. Then I decided that if I am getting back in the game, I am going to be shooting high. Junior Nationals. It is a doable goal, and it would be nice to say that I actually went.

side note- to make the situation more awkward-Cameron is here as well, which isn't a problem, cause he's an ok kid, but he makes me feel both old and awkward. Worst part of this fact all together, though, is that he is down stairs, Kendirck is upstairs, and I am just killing time, writing in my blog, in the living room. AWKWARD. whatever. I've been too tired to uphold social grace. side note over

Although, speaking about being cranky, I have been a pill lately. I don't know why exactly, but I have been a real bitch. I think it is a combination of being unemployed and not being in CA. I miss CA. Not the heat so much, but the sun, the friends, and the random adventures I would go on, like every weekend. BUT BUT BUT, speaking of random adventures, I UBER excited for my trip to NYC with my girl Hope this weekend. SO excited. We are going to have a blast. But, overall I am ready to get out of here. I miss my Jew, my hippie, my conservative dope, my cowgirl, and the lax bro. :( I don't like getting attached to people, and I didn't actually think I ever would. But, I suppose there are some people that just sink their way in. Don't get me wrong, there are a few people here who are really important to me. Kendrick may be socially immature sometimes, but he (and his family) have helped me realize that not only am I a push over, but I am also a good person, whether or not I want people to think otherwise. Then there is Kim too. She has always been there for me, and I love her to death. She really just gets me, and no matter how much I ever try to front with her, she can always see right through the smoke and mirrors. She keeps me in check, and I am there for her whenever she needs me. Basically, I won't be sitting next to her in jail, but I will bail her out if she calls.

That would explain why I acted the way I did when I first went to Davis. In Maryland, I am a pushover, and a generally nice guy (except for when I am cranky, which is often) (all of which was a bit of a front, by the way). So I wanted to change that and become someone you can't walk all over. It was easy enough, for a while. Then I got REAL friends. Friends who you end up in jail with. Unfortunately, the surface stuff doesn't really cut it. So, I had to show them my "real" self. Problem with that is that I really don't know who precisely that is. SO, I do believe I am stuck. Stuck somewhere in between wanting to be able to show myself to my friends, but not really knowing where to start. Still bored, and have another hour (or so) of social awkwardness. Guess I should keep venting :/

uhhhhhhh. I don't even know what to really write about. Just being bored. Listening to Demi Lovato (shut-up). I guess I could write about my future academically. I know I am talking animal science 41, and then most likely switching my major after that. After animal science 2, I am fairly sure that animal science is not for me. I hated that class with a passion. The idea of understanding the animal system, and hormones, simply to utilize it for our own beneficial gain.....not something I really want a part of. So, I am going to take Wildlife and Fish conservation biology 50, where I get to see if I really like that major. If I do, I will switch, and that will be the end of it. Then I will apply to vet school in exotic animals, and become a famous world famous vet and travel across the planet. end. Mother doens't really approve of this plan. She wants me to find a job in animal science small vet stuff. It is practical career, and I have been looking at it all my life. I don't think she was ready for me to give up such a stable dream. She has warmed up to the idea, but she is still rather uncomfortable with me switching to a little more unstable career....still bored.

BUT! I have killed another half an hour (mostly due to skypeing sharyn (THANK YOU SHARYN)).......murrr i think im just about done here. I have done all the damage I can possibly do via blogging. I think I will try to skype it up more, and if that doesnt work, I'll just come back here.


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