Monday, July 6, 2009

Bored and Hella Cranky

So, I know its been a while, but I have absolutely nothing better to do. I am still unemployed, and bored through out the day, and am currently watching other people's home.One of these homes is the McDonalds. They went to the beach for 2 weeks, except Kendrick had to come back a week early for swimming. He is upstairs in the house I am watching. Awkward. Whatever, I am driving him to practice in like an hour and a half, so I suppose it will only be awkward for a semi-short period of time. I think its mostly awkward because I kinda live here, and all my stuff is here, and scattered about, and I haven't cleaned up yet, cause I still live here. enh.

Being unemployed sucks. I thought I would have a nice job when I got here, but the pool was like "I don't know when the next training session is, or if we are having one at all." Kill me. So now I am waiting to hear from Dr.McCrary for Johns Hopkins APL. I would love to work there. Doing actual research in the actual field and being paid to do it. How rocking awesome would that be.

mmmmmm...need to kill more time. I guess I can kill alot of time talking about swimming. SOoo I'll be coaching next year AND swimming. huzzah? It was difficult to think about, but I have reconciled my feelings about it all, and decided to get back into the game. Then I decided that if I am getting back in the game, I am going to be shooting high. Junior Nationals. It is a doable goal, and it would be nice to say that I actually went.

side note- to make the situation more awkward-Cameron is here as well, which isn't a problem, cause he's an ok kid, but he makes me feel both old and awkward. Worst part of this fact all together, though, is that he is down stairs, Kendirck is upstairs, and I am just killing time, writing in my blog, in the living room. AWKWARD. whatever. I've been too tired to uphold social grace. side note over

Although, speaking about being cranky, I have been a pill lately. I don't know why exactly, but I have been a real bitch. I think it is a combination of being unemployed and not being in CA. I miss CA. Not the heat so much, but the sun, the friends, and the random adventures I would go on, like every weekend. BUT BUT BUT, speaking of random adventures, I UBER excited for my trip to NYC with my girl Hope this weekend. SO excited. We are going to have a blast. But, overall I am ready to get out of here. I miss my Jew, my hippie, my conservative dope, my cowgirl, and the lax bro. :( I don't like getting attached to people, and I didn't actually think I ever would. But, I suppose there are some people that just sink their way in. Don't get me wrong, there are a few people here who are really important to me. Kendrick may be socially immature sometimes, but he (and his family) have helped me realize that not only am I a push over, but I am also a good person, whether or not I want people to think otherwise. Then there is Kim too. She has always been there for me, and I love her to death. She really just gets me, and no matter how much I ever try to front with her, she can always see right through the smoke and mirrors. She keeps me in check, and I am there for her whenever she needs me. Basically, I won't be sitting next to her in jail, but I will bail her out if she calls.

That would explain why I acted the way I did when I first went to Davis. In Maryland, I am a pushover, and a generally nice guy (except for when I am cranky, which is often) (all of which was a bit of a front, by the way). So I wanted to change that and become someone you can't walk all over. It was easy enough, for a while. Then I got REAL friends. Friends who you end up in jail with. Unfortunately, the surface stuff doesn't really cut it. So, I had to show them my "real" self. Problem with that is that I really don't know who precisely that is. SO, I do believe I am stuck. Stuck somewhere in between wanting to be able to show myself to my friends, but not really knowing where to start. Still bored, and have another hour (or so) of social awkwardness. Guess I should keep venting :/

uhhhhhhh. I don't even know what to really write about. Just being bored. Listening to Demi Lovato (shut-up). I guess I could write about my future academically. I know I am talking animal science 41, and then most likely switching my major after that. After animal science 2, I am fairly sure that animal science is not for me. I hated that class with a passion. The idea of understanding the animal system, and hormones, simply to utilize it for our own beneficial gain.....not something I really want a part of. So, I am going to take Wildlife and Fish conservation biology 50, where I get to see if I really like that major. If I do, I will switch, and that will be the end of it. Then I will apply to vet school in exotic animals, and become a famous world famous vet and travel across the planet. end. Mother doens't really approve of this plan. She wants me to find a job in animal science small vet stuff. It is practical career, and I have been looking at it all my life. I don't think she was ready for me to give up such a stable dream. She has warmed up to the idea, but she is still rather uncomfortable with me switching to a little more unstable career....still bored.

BUT! I have killed another half an hour (mostly due to skypeing sharyn (THANK YOU SHARYN)).......murrr i think im just about done here. I have done all the damage I can possibly do via blogging. I think I will try to skype it up more, and if that doesnt work, I'll just come back here.


Monday, April 27, 2009


so im currently bored because i have nothing to do tonight. Tuesdays I have no classes, so I will do my homework then. It is Monday night. I am bored. :P. Overall update i suppose would take up enough time to kill some of this boredom. Huzaahhh

So, basically. Classes this quarter are the biggest bitch ever. I get up at 8 and go off to chem, which all and all isnt that bad, in fact it has actually been getting rather interesting recently, it is just that i have no time to really get into it :/. Then, I get breakfast from 10-11. logical. no, but i have never been very logical, which is kinda of weird because my parents and siblings are VERY logically people. Whatever. Then its off to animal science. Let me say this now, I HATE THAT CLASS. We learn about the systems of very particular animals, and then how we can manipulate things in their system to get the most out of them. They are nothing more than a bloody resource! Uhhh. I really hate learning about a certain system for something soooo worthless, in my opinion at least. But its ok. Wildlife and Fish Conservation. Dear Lord I LOVE THAT CLASS. It is like they take the components of animals science, psychology, biology, chemistry, and all the other classes that I love, and put them together. It is freaking amazing. I feel like such a hippie in that class, but whatever. Maybe I am sort of a hippie. What are you going to do about it? :P Then, I get a break for lunch. for an hour. Then its off to bio. Overall the class is ok. I think I am going to get a B in it. Maybe a B plus. Who knows. I got a B on the midterm. Wheee. Since that was the first midterm, I will prob get a B plus in the class. Overall it is a long day. very long. I then go to the gym and try not kill myself.

So yea. Classes right now suck. I will probably get a B plus in chem and bio, then an A in wfc, and then i really am going to pray for a B in animal science. GOD I HATE THAT CLASS. The teacher is also incredibly boring. His voice makes me want to sleep. Or hit him on the head with a broken bottle. One of the two. XP. Perhaps a tad harsh, but it is true. ohh, and mother dear, i am not going to retract that statement for its graphic content :P.

mmmmmmm. Beyond the usually complaining about life, I am ready for summer. I am tired of classes right now :/. Whats worse is that everyone is getting off from school, in like a week or two, and I am stuck here for another month XP. Month and a half really, but who is counting? I will hopefully have a job lined up already when i get home, so i will be getting money :). and I am just ready to go home and see some people (not everyone) and hang out with those kids i was too dumb to hang out with high school. Seriously, I think I spent more time with the kids who were making fun of me behind my back, then with the kids who were actually my friends. :P. Sad really. Well, it was probably because I was such a stereotypical teenager. My god I was trying to fit in all the time! Well, guess what everyone, I have done some growing, and I don't need your bullshit anymore :). True friends, you know who you are, I promise to be a better friend to you guys, and I promise, we will have more fun this summer than you can possible imagine :D. kosher fun people. and no im not jewish, but i like that word :P, thanks for that jenn :).

So in conclusion, people be aware that I am either going to spend more time with you when I get home, or I won't. The people I hang out with/ text/ whatever, are people I want to hang out with. So to all you jerks from high school who made fun of me behind my back, hope it was worth it :P. [ohhh and so i dont confuse certain people these jerks are not kendrick m. (dude you know your boss, i doubt you even thought i am talking about you, but i bet you know who i am talking about), mandy bowers (we are going to nyc or if your stuck in school im coming to visit, end), sharyn e. (i am coming to visit you one weekend, be excited), hope llanso (gurllll we are hittin up some macdawLaldsss), jimmy forest (we are sooo going to qudoba), patrick b. (i miss you :'( where have you gone?), alex dannelly (we NEED to hang out, cause i NEVER see you), allison k. (call me when you get back, i enjoy our chats darling), the one and only rosie m. (in freaking england :P), kelsey smith (love you girl, miss you), prathana v. (girl, one: your name is ridiculous to spell sometimes :P, two: I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU!! WHERE DID YOU GO!!), kim mangus. (i dont think you made fun of me behind my back :/) and prob a ton of people i missed, but this was just off the top of my head. Sorry if I missed you and you were a really good friend to me in high school, and WE WILL hang out during summer, so dont worry :).] Geez that was long. But! It killed time!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

thus begins the spring

So, spring is a bitch. I currently cannot sleep, and yet, about three hours ago I could barely function to type up my biology homework. Logical? NO. It was probably the coffee I drank three hours ago, but seriously, I only had one cup, and it was three hours ago. That should not be keeping me up. Wheeee

So, summary of how life has been. Spring break rocked socks. Seriously it rocked so hard, my socks literally were rocked off. That and Candy, Jessie's cat, was chewing on them. For those who do not know, I went to Paso Robles for spring break! Yay! We went to SLO a couple of time, and we went to the beach ALOT! I loved the beach! It was amazing! And I found this cool shell that jessie made a necklace for me, which I will wear as much as possible because it reminds me of that amazing spring break. We also sat out and ate burgers on the beach, and stayed up late watching movies, and went start gazing a couple of times. Over all Paso is beautiful and amazing. OH! AND! there were sealsss!!! On the beach!! :D. It was very exciting to see one! and then we found one on the beach, and I got so close I could have touched it. I didn't, but just knowing I could have made me happy. So yea break was amazing, hands down. AND, i kinda got tan! Exciting? I think so. Well, it was more like sun burned. But it kinda looks like a tan now. And it does not hurt, sooooo, i want to chop that under tan. :D

Then we came back to school. That sentence it self is a menace to society. Uhhhh. I have been back a week, and what a hellish week it has been. My Mondays absolutely suck. I have class from 9 am until 10 pm at night. XP. 8 hours of class on Mondays are awful. I feel like I am done, but then, I'm not. PLUS I got hit by a car this week on Monday. XP. I was biking to go get a package from the post office, and I was on the bike path, and this car decides to turn right without looking, and sends me flying. I was fine, his car was in bad shape. But w/e. It was just icing on a bad day cake. uhhhhh. Tuesdays are nice though. No classes. But, I still have tae kwon do from 6:30-8:30 and that really kicked my butt this week. Seriously I am so sore. Made Wendsday even worse. Wendsday is really long too, and I thought I had tae kwon do at night too, but I dont, so that makes things easier!! We shall see how Thursdays go. It is even more complicated cause I am declaring a double major. That's right people, I am declaring another major! and a specialization. Ready for it? I am going to declare an art major with animal science specialized in marine animals :D:D!! I so excited. I am just getting the paper work approved now, and I have my moms blessing, so all is good!!!

So yea. It has been a busy week. And my mommy and little brother are coming to visit next week!! ahhh!!! im both excited but nervous. Means I have to clean up my room before they get here :/. Wow. I am soooo bored. Coffee is still keeping me up though :S. What to do?!?! God I am going to crash so bad tomorrow.

Friday, March 6, 2009


Haven't updated this thing in a while. To be honest I have been avoiding it a little. I am terrified of going back into emo mode, after my last post (it got hastily withdrawn). It was basically an emo rant, that is all you need to know.

I am on call tonight.
There are problems among friends, and it is my job to stand by with a box of tissues, and a consolidating nod here and there. But, I know my role this time. People do not want to hear solutions to their problems. Not tonight. Tonight, they just want to attack until there is nothing left to attack. So, here I am. Ready to pick up the pieces.

Of course, the details are vague. It might even happen tonight. I might not even be needed. But I will be here, just in case. Pathetic. Perhaps.

Well, to fill everyone in on the details of my life, i suppose I should get started. Not much has changed since winter break. I now like who I am, I am not ashamed of who I was, and I am proud of the progression I made from what I was to what I am. Of course, this is only a small step, and I am sure I will have many more as I get older. But for now, my life is stable. That is all I can ask for.

Other than that, there are the little things. Classes are going, well, somewhat smoothly. Math sucks, of course. If I work my butt off I can get a B, so I will probably end up with a C or a B-. Yay! Chem is going surprisingly well. I might even get an A. Yay! English is really easy. But, as much as I loath how easy it is, I actually kind of enjoy it. I enjoying sitting, getting ready to write, and not have to worry about being wrong. I just figure out what the author is saying, and figure out what I want to say with it, and start writing, with no inabitions. Anywho. I just had really long chat with a new friend who goes to UCD and is from HoCo MD!!!!! Seriously amazing! And she is not some creepy weirdo!!!! yes!! I cannot wait to meet her in person at chipotle on Thurday!! uber excited!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Been a while

Sooo, I haven't been very studious with this thing......whoops. Oh well. I guess I should give some update.....where to start

I guess we should start by saying that Doug is amazing, and I am sad the second season is not on itunes. Also should mention, Chalky, is amazing, and his last name is studebaker, and he is amazing *swoon*. Yea, basically, how this came to be, is Jenn and I found something we both love while Jessie and Evan are off in San Fran for the weekend. We knew we would be hanging out alot, so we needed a bonding factor, and we found it.

Ummmm, got a haircut today, nothing crazy, just a trim ;). Oh yea! well, like I said I stopped water polo, fun sport, just not for me, and I started tae kwon do last week. It is freaking intense! It is nothing like the tae kwon do back home, mostly cause what I was doing was a different style, karate, where tae kwon do straight up is totally different. Its all cardio, and focused on sparring. Alot focused on sparring. Intense though. I remember doing these slidey things, where we had to slide our feet in and out, and my feet kept skidding against the mat, and my feet started bleeding, and everyone was all, oh yea that happens. Then I had to kick like non stop for the rest of the class, my legs were soooo sore on Tues., and Thursday, but not as much, cause I had gotten used to it already mostly. In freaking tense!!! But my kicks are getting really fast and strong, so thats a plus.....i have just been slacking at the gym because tae kwon do is such a good work out right now :D.

Broke my window last night.......explanation? I really dont have one. I was reading with my feet pressed up against the window, and I am all curled up in my happy place reading, and then my feet go straight through the window. Fun shit. Then the maintenance guys come and board it up, and as they are staring at the broken glass on the ground, one of the guys says "Shit that is thick stuff, mustve hit it hard to bust it like that." ......i didn't kick it!!! I was all curled up reading, and then smash!!! my freaking window broke!! ughghgh. So I had to wait for the maintenance people to get their head on straight and board it up. But, my bed is all in front of the window, so they asked me to board it up, and screw the wood in, and hammer out the metal poking out on the other i basically could've done it myself, i just needed the materials. Rawr. So Jenn came over, cause i was a little reluctant leaving my room with a wooden board for a window, and we order chinese and watched doug. I was a good night. I also ordered like 6 books from amazon for a total of 10 bucks, not including shipping, it was like 20 with shipping XP. But still, thats really good. I am super excited for them to come! Mostly because I ran out of things to read. I have become a reading machine lately. I can read about 150 pages in about an hour now......which means I can usually get through a descent sized book in about 3 days or so. Whatever!

Oh Oh OH!!!!!! im uber excited about this one!
I put a deposit on an apartment!! a studio apartment!!! yay!!!! I get an entire studio apartment!!!! there is like soo much room! and it is in such a nice place!!! It is kinda far away from the school, but it is kind of perfect cause there arnt that many people there, and its right next to a grocery store, so i dont NEED my car to do food shopping, its basically perfect. But I still applied for barn residency, mostly cause its free room and bored, for two years. You would have to be a stupid mother trucker to pass that kind of stuff up. Seriously.

That is basically it......nothing too crazy, Jessie and I got into a fight, but it ended quickly. Whatever! I really should get some laundry done, fill out some apartment papers, and then do some post me gusta......

Sunday, February 1, 2009

oh my god forgive me who i am not

Sooo i have not updated this thing in about forever in a half, and there is plenty to tell so buckle yourselves in and hold on tight.

Lets see, lets start with, well i have no idea where to start. I guess we should start with that Ive stopped water polo. Its a fun game, and if had been playing longer and didn't suck as hard as i do, i might have stayed with it. It was simply that i was soo bad, and i felt bad for making my poor team suck even worse then they do already. Basically. But, jessie and i have been going to the gym everyday, so there isn't going to be an issue of me getting fat. I don't plan on it anyway. Then, there are midterms, and how much they suck. I just took all of my midterms, two last week, one the week before, and my GOD they sucked so freaking hard. I got a C on Avian Science= fail, then i am pretty sure i did poorly on my chem and math midterms cause they were much more difficult than i thought they were going to be. Wheee, fun! but but but, English class is amazingly easy! of course this is just workload, so there is not much to be stoked on.....but still the dumb asses in that class make me feel about 200% better about my writing abilities. I love getting As on my paper, makes me feel smart. but other than that i just can not wait to be finished with math and chemistry, i hate them both sooo much. rawr. so yea.

i am thinking of switching my major to wild life dealing with exotic animals. I like wild animals more than goats and cows. Don't get me wrong, love goats, butttttt, i really want to travel to somewhere like the Arctic and study walruses or polar bears or wolves! that would be amazing. wild life vet? idk. I guess i will stay on the animal science vet track for a while, but, i have a nice fall back dream. It is really thanks to jessie, who is kinda mad at me right now, i should probably elaborate.

Soooo, today was pretty normal day. Chillin with Jenn and Jess ( at this point i will call the combined unit Jesn) after i worked out with Jess. All was hunky dory and then we went to Starbucks with Evan and Leah, my god Jenn and Jess love startbucks as much as an alcoholic loves vodka. But anyway, we get back, and go to dinner, nothing fancy, but i had stolen jessie's phone to talk to will about going to dinner, which he didn't, and i still had it. I kept it on my person, even when the girls ran upstairs thinking it would be "cute" to lock Evan and i out of the, Evan and i went upstairs to wills room, and i took a little revenge, Now keep in mind i still had Jessie's phone, and i am not one to let opportunities slip through my fingers so easily. So I texted a good group of random on her phone, some i knew, one or two i didnt, "i hate u, dont talk to me anymore"....most ppl who i texted caught on pretty quickly, i think kelly caught on first. Jane was confused, and i just made her more confused until she called evan and he explained it was me texting her, and she called me an idiot, so i called her a bitch (i may be obnoxious, but i am certainly no idiot). Another girl called her phone directly (the smarter in the bunch if i say so myself) and i told her she was apart of a cruel prank, and she laughed, and we talked a little, and she was nice. But this one guy Bryan(?) was all pissed and being a complete idot about it, not catching on at all. Stupid boy. Turned out this boy was the same that jessie had issues with (and still does i suppose) and she got all mad when i showed her the message that bryan sent back. He was very upset, and i do feel bad for making him upset, but really, the kid is kinda dumb for not catching on, just about everyone else caught on right away, and it was just him in the end......he really should have called or something......but i do feel bad about messing with the crazy. But Jessie was sooo mad, and Jenn and Leah were all defending her friend, Jenn just kicked me and didn't say anything, she kicked me much more than usual, which is fine, cause i did feel bad about Bryan, so i just let that go, and then Leah tried to yell at me for messing with ppl, but i fired back saying that it was just a prank, and everyone (minus Bryan) caught on, and it really didn't hurt anyone (except for maybe this bryan kid, but from what Ive been told it needed to be done anyway). Leah kept trying to say it shouldn't have been done at all, and i fought back saying I'm not sorry for what i did, it was payback for the annoying shit that those girls do, with all lets talk behind the boys back, and have "girl talk" when i don't keep anything from them. I don't have (too if any) many secrets from them, and i really hate it when they feel the need to keep stuff from me, it not just annoying, its kind of insulting. If it was something i didn't need to hear, they should have just told me instead of playing games. Sorry guys, but this how i feel, and you know what, I am not sorry for saying it :P.

So basically, Jessie is upset with me, but i think this will blow over because we are better friends than to let something like this ruin it. and if I'm mistaken, then oh well. I love u guys like family, but you all know how easily detached i am.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

having a good day, and then all of a sudden, u had to go and ruin my childhood, y u gotta do that honky?

soo basicially, amazing. Lets see, start, ummmm....where to start, i think tuesday? tuesday. Nothing really happened, other than played water polo again, and it was freakin amazing, but i dont exactly know if im going to actually play, cause i reall ydont think im good enough for the team :P. Fail. Oh well....Wendsday was free pie night, and with my soul mate Kelly! she fit in with the group uber well! she was extra funny, and soo much fun to chill with. I picked a good soul mate :D. Thennnn, thursday, nothing really happened at all, i think i hung out with jessie, but i dont remember cause it was boring, and i didnt do much other than write a paper and do some math, well not really math, but ya knowwww. Then Friddayyy, intresting. Missed some shit, thats all that needs to be said, but i did do some bonding with Will on Fri, yayayayay! i dont hate that kid anymore! huzzahhh!!!

Theennn, this morning Jessie took all these modeling photos of me, and they were amazing and i was all, ur amazing, so now i just gotta submit them and itll be good. TTTThhhhennn, we went to big kid park, not as amazing as it sounded, but still, jessie and i got some more shots, and poor jenn wasnt feeling good, so we took her home and watched never ending story.....bascially, most perverted thing ever!!!! i was so upset, my childhood video was creepy and perverted, and i was all like, y isnt this a pg13 movie, its got freakin boobs in ittt!!!come on!!!! and then my lucky dragon turned out to be a creeper, worst childhood ever basically. So sad. Yea, sory for not updating this properly, with all my crazy detail and shit. But im lazy, and my jacket cam in the mail today! so i have to go celebrate, peace!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Working Gears come togther

So.........its been a longggg week. Feels like an entire month has pasted, but its only been a week. Time is a fickle mistress, freakin time, make up ur mind woman!!! Lets seeeeee, where to start. Lets start with wensday, cause idk where i left off on this thing, and wend. was interesting. Lets seeeee, to start off the day, i woke up, that usually has to happen, occasionally it doesnt, but i dont remember that part. Went to AVS 11, and then calc, fun shit, not really......then went to lunch with the gang, u should all kno who that is by now....then went to Writing, stupid class, dont even kno why i dont just retake the damn test, cause i would sooooo ace it now that i know what they want....w/e. then then then. we went for pie. Free pie nights are the best!!! love free pie nights.

Ate lots of pie, and different pies, and loved them all. AMAZING!!! i also had a coffee, which was a really bad idea because i decided i was gunna work out after pie......i kinda threw up all the coffee and pie after i ran a quick mile. Thus ending my work outs till present. XP. It upset my stomach sooo much, but im going to get back on the wagon starting tomorrow, good stuff. Then after i was all sicky sick, i went back to jenn's and jessie's and chilled there for like 10 min, fell on the floor, and fell asleep underneath jessies bed for like 2 2 hours ever. I slept sooo well. I was dead after that mile, and that nap was just what i needed. Then jessie and jenn pulled me out from underneath the longer was eddie happily asleep, no longer was eddie entranced in the lovely state that blurs the line between fantasy and fiction, no longer was eddie dancing on the delicate glass fragments of dreams from another world. No, eddie was not gently drifted from the magical place of utter fancy, but ripped out from the womb!!!! I was not happy, but too drunk from being ripped out of my state of joy to notice, so i wandered back to my place and crashed till my 7:30 class, and then went back to bed after it ended. I was really upset about being awake.

Thennnnn, on Thursday, i ate lunch with the Jenn in was weird. It wasnt REALLY awkward, just kinda, mostly cause jenn and i are not usually left alone with one another, and shes really awkward with most boys.....but i think it was ok, we talked about this and that, nice little chit chat, couldnt really tell what jenn was thinking when she was drifting off into her world of lala, but it wasnt menacing, so i was fine with it. Then she went to class like 3 hours later, and i chilled afterward. Then, went to dinner with the whole gang, minus jessie but plus will and evan, jessie was doing yoga with jane, and when i escorted her to the arc, i left my keys there!!! but at the time i didnt kno, so when i found out they were lost, i was freakin out and then i didnt find them till the next day, and that was after i like called all these places and went wandering around looking for them on Thursday night, but thats more of a side story. After dinner, jenn and sarah had sorority junk, and so i ate dinner again with jessie, it was good fun eating dinner twice. Then, went up to wills room and watched a rerun of the office, and then 30 rock. I am beginning to like will more because he is a guy, and there are no other guys in the group, so i cant talk guy stuff with, soooo, i think im gunnna try and not dislike him more....try, its not like hes a bad guy, there is simply something i dont like about him.....i feel bad because i pick at him all the time, and he really doesnt deserve it, buttttttttttt, there is just something i cant place my finger on ittt thoughhhh!! sorry will.

So after freaking out all Thursday night, i get up on fri and go to classes, and then go to lunch with the gang plus leah in tecero, and then leah takes us horseback riding!!! it was sooo much fun!!! i had never riden a horse b4, and i lovvvve luther!!! he is sooo sweet, and cuteeee, and i love horses!!!!!!! and then leah was all, im getting free room and bored for working at the horse barn, and i was all, i want free room and bored!!!!! so i was all, hook me upppp!! and so we went to the office to ask about the applications, but they rnt up yet, and now im going with leah on monday/ tues, to talk to Holly, person who runs this stuff, to sign up to shadow leah and learn how to feed the horses!! im super excited to work with the horses, even though i have heard from EVERYONE that horse girls are BITCHES!!!!! i have been warned, but im a big boy, i can handle myself. and the free room is worth it, i NEED THIS! so im gunna start working there and then be all like smoozing and stuff. hopefully :D, but anyway, after horseback riding i went to class, wrote an essay, no problem for the amazing writer eddie! but i kinda gave up at the end and was all, i dont even care, but the essay isnt graded, so i didnt care, it just had to be 2 pages, single or double spaced, and mine was single, so i just gave up at the end, enh. Then tyhen then then then, I FOUND MY KEYSSSS!! there they were in the arc lost and found!!! HUZZAH, made my day. So i celebrated by going to dinner with jess and sarah not jenn, she was gone, and all that jazz, then went back on my bike, which i had to leave in gmore because i had lost my keys. Then went out to party the rest of night with some friends out there in Cuarto, u kno who r ;D.

Thennnnn, i went all out and about today, doing stuff, nothing really exciting or worth writing. Cam back and was all JESSIE!!! DINNER AND BADMITTEN!! then sarah was all, basketball game. And i was like, i dont like basketball. I got outvoted, so i ended up going to the basketball game thinking i would be able to pretend to be into it for like half of it, FAILED!!! idk y, butttt i just cant watch sports, that dont involve water, soo boring. And sarah was being all bitchy and saying that if i wasnt interested to leave, but i was trying to be a good friend and hang out with them and do what they want, so i cussed her out, thatll teach her to mess!!! i was also really grumpy for some odd reason......dont kno y, so i left, and im soo tired i dont wanna go out partyin, soo im here typing on my computer on a sat night, and im ok with it, cause im just tooo tired to do anything else :D.

Soooo now that only leaves us with the future. tomorrow the game plan is to do hw, and laundry, and get those other two packages that never freakin came!!!! im gunna avoid the gang tomorrow, i need a break from the on going intimacy that they create, im getting too attached to them, not really, i think i just need some space from everyone for a day or two, eddie time. Theennnnn, monday, classes, and all that jazz, not really anything too in particular, maybe ill take up the water polo teams offer to go to play indoor soccer, prob not. Then tues=death, ughgh, and i have water polo, im kinda excited? ill just make sure im more agressive, and not afraid to say im gunna leave at 8, sall good. But i think im gunna stick with it. and then the rest of the week will prob go as according to plan with a variation here or there, but nothing crazy like angels from heaven escorting me to go exploring up in the great beyond, if that happens, im pretty sure, that would be freakin boss. Basically.

So duck ur head, and hold ur breathe, and ram through that glass door that has been holding you back from living. Its ur life, live it well, i did it, and it was worth the cuts that the glass gave me :D

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Sooooo, i now kno why by blogs are soooo long, its because i dont update this thing enough XP. Lets seeee. Lets start back Thursday. Nothing too crazy, everyone at bakers square remembered me.......crazy.

Then Firday, went back to the dorms, and unpacked, took the writing test, failed because i didnt know what they wanted, i could probably pass if i took it again, but i wont, just want to take the class and get it over with. The rest of friday was boring.

Saterday, Jenn and Jess came back. We chilled for a while, i left early so they could have fun together. then Sunday, went out and chilled with Micheline, had a good time.\

Monday, school started. Avian Science is more needs to be said. Then rushing off to math, the new teacher is a biologist.......making the class about 20 times harder all of a sudden. Not so much fun. Then English.....SUCKS! everyone there is as dumb as a freakin rock, a rock ppl, a rock. Stupid people. But there is one kid, whose a swimmer, i can talk to him.....not tooo bad.

Tuesday, class early, not so bad. I can wake up earlier than most, so im ok with 7:30 class. But then with the lab right after it, especially when i hadent read the lab yet because they hadnt told us to, SUCKS BALLS!!! it really sucked. ummmmm, then went to math review session. New TA seems to know what hes talking about, but i dont like him, theres something about him i dont like about him, im sure ill figure out what i dont like soon. Then water polo practice. Freaking crazy! The guys didnt know i had noo idea how to play, so they just threw me in there, and i started to take a swing at it. I was really shy, and i was afraid to be agressive, but the other guys werent. So, that helped a little bit. They are all really nice, and friendly, and really lax. I cant wait to try again, i just feel bad i really suck at it, and my team has to suffer for it :P. But i cant wait to try it again

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Soo, basically, ive come to many conclusions. Let us start with the beginning. I am done with swimming, competitively. I will still swim on my own here and there, but really? im kinda over the entire kill your body with people you barely know, are younger than you, and not really in the same stage of life as me. I am not saying the kids i swim with are immature, they may be very mature, i really dont know them that well, the simply arent in the same stage of life as me. I am on my own, sorting out my personality disorders and all. Theyre mostly in high school. So, yea, im done. I was going to try out in march, for the college team, but then i weighed the consequences and benefits of it all, and i decided that i can find equally amazing ppl playing water polo, or kendo, or some other crazy club. There is so much I want to do now that I have all these options, i am also thinking of going to take some pictures and go model casting to find an agent. Easy money? i think so. I think ill find an agent, im pretty good looking ;), but im pretty sure im not gunna get the first couple i go to, but that is life. So beyond major news of changing my life dramatically, I have also chilled significantly from the last blog. So I got Bs, not the end of the world? Im still shooting for vet school, and if not, ive got a pretty good fall back, i really want to do animal research, probably exotic, so after a year or so, if vet school isnt looking so hot, ill transfer to wild life preservation or something to that affect. I am an utterly lucky kid, with lots of talents, and i am so ready to explore all of them :D. Yea, so that thats basically the major chunk of my life right now. I shattered who i was, and picked up the pieces i liked and left the rest.

Speaking of leaving without looking back, my last swim practice was interesting. I was at clippers at the time (because i was still visiting in MD at the time, but im home now in Davis) and i was doing the set, and i was doing well, but then i decided to get out to go to the bathroom, and then i decided i dont need anything else in there anymore, so i got my stuff and left. All i had was my goggles, i left everything else in there, and I drove away without ever looking back. I am excited to be done, and I have no regrets about my decision, or any decision i made concerning swimming. So, yea, that was an interesting moment, i think i did a similar thing when i graduated high school. I remember, when everyone left the building for the last time, and everyone was hugging and crying and saying their goodbyes, and i just walked right out, got im my car and drove away, and didnt look back. Another reason it was weird visting all my old teachers in RH, i left that place, with no intention to return.....oh well, its nice to gloat that i am free from that prison. Sorry to everyone who loved high school, but i was in a prison, i could never say what i thought, because no one cared anyway, and i never really got to do what I wanted to yea, college is amazing, i dont want it end right now. But who am i to control time? :P

Other than that we will get into the petty details. Lets seee.....i forgot where i left off, i think it was after christmas. Yea, ok, lets see, went to Jesersy with the family to see dads family. That is always an interesting experience. For you see, some people think i am brutually honest, and i have a new york attitude, not i say no. Compared to my family, i am a small white maryland boy. They are brutual, and you always have to about your wits when with them, I love them to death, and it really an experience everyone needs to experience, just make sure you come prepared with thick skin, and ammunition on the tips of your tongue. But over all it was a fun night, and the drive home is always enjoyable for me, mostly because i am not driving.

Thennnn, Sunday, we hit the road at about 9 ish, got to Clarksville, at about 2ish, and then i hung out with Kendrick, ate with his family, played video games, and watched eagle eye (lame, not happy about the super computer, sorry if i ruined it?). It is so weird because they do everything as a family, and i have been fussed into it, like a metal alloy, i am mixed into it, not simply a lump on the side. Its nice to know that I will always have them to fall on. But they are so much different than my family. My family is so much more reserved, and we have much more subtle meanings with our gestures, expressions, and other things. Kendrick's family are completely open with one another, i could never image lying to any of them, ever. But with my family, when i was home, not really anymore not that im at college, i was calculating, manipulative, and i was hands down the best lair in the house. Alot has changed. I really dont do that anymore, well, i am calculating, and manipulative, but i dont lie. No need for it really. But anyway, thats another story, for another time....

Sooo, then we move to Monday....Monday, lemme think. I really dont remember it, so it must not have been too important. But i do remember my mom and i went out late to get shoes, nice ones, and we had a nice chat. We analyzed my mind set and personality, and compared it to the families. It turns out, I am weird. Most men look for a problem and solve it. That is how they look at life. It is a gaint problem, and they were made to solve a certain problem, and go about solving it. Women do things differently. They find the problem, and then they analyze it, see possible outcomes, and interpret what the best choice is, and then worry about it (aka think wayyy too much). Apparently I do both. I am a problem solver, and I can solve problems without a problem, but then, i doubt my answer, and then over think it, and i get into the women territory. Normally I would be proud to an exception to any rule; however, this is not a good thing. It kind of sucks actually. My gut instict tells me something, and its usually right, but I have a problem listening to it because of my need for approval....i think im making progress on that, finding that sometimes, i really dont need the approval of other ppl, and i need to do things for me, and no one else. Obviously this came about when deciding to quit swimming. I had no idea what i was going to do, oh!!!! and i remember i had gone to the gym with Kim earlier telling me of how shes done swimming, and fucked up her body in college swimming, and that realy made me think, do i need to do college swimming? I mean the only reason i swam was for college, and for the ppl. And since Jeff helped me NONE! when deciding on a college, and whether or not to swim, i got in on my own, and i got far far away. So, what was i holding onto? I discussed this with my mom, but i was obviously hesitant, and let the massive amount of thought to come, i really shouldnt do that, a skill Jenn has mastered, and my mom and i chewed on that for a while.

from :D. So that was a fun time. Then I went It was the next day where i came up with the answer, I decided I was done. But it wasnt until later in the day, but it was before practice in the afternoon. I didnt go to morning practice, and then....what did i do during the day?.....oh yea! i replaced the not so wonderful sleeveless shirt mommom gave me for christmas for a MD jacket, and a fancy regular jacket that is much more my style. But im excited, i never has a MD jacket, and im proud of the hoedunk little state imot practice, and then left after like an hour and half, and never looked back. I feel bad for ditching naka though :( poor kid. Love him. Then I hung out with morgan, went to Ruby Tuesdays, and saw spirt aAGAIN! and you know how sometimes during movies uve seen twice u get bored in some scenes, no. Not spirt, it was sooooo amazing. Yea, amazing.

Then Wendsday, a fun day. Started with Kendricking, and apprently Cameroning at lunch. We went to quodoba. I t thought it would be all awkward with Cameron, nawwww, he is a cool kid, I put the approval stamp on him. I remember he started off REALLY shy when i was driving Kendrick to BoA, and he was in the car alone with me, he didnt talk much, and i tried to lighten the mood, but he was just awkward, but then when we got to quodoba, and then Borders, he loosened up. Hes a good replacement. Any who, i thus proceeded to asy goodbi to everyone, it was hard, cause i really like my second family, although i was seriously jealous that they busted out the blow up mattress for cameron, and i always get he couch, or the floor :P. Enh, I hear they ask about me all the time though, so thats nice to know :D. Then went to quodoba again with Erica Suter, shes amazing, and shes doing well, and it was god to see her....and all that ;). Then went to a family new years eve party, thank god it ended at 8, i was sooo tired. But still went out, and packed till like 11ish.

Plane left at 8, got here at 12, read an entire book, The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman havent read it? go read the golden compass, then get that book, its worth reading. Then went to the hotel, getting ready for my exam tomorrow. Excited to home, i missed it, alot. Thats all for now, sorry, damn, my updates are too fucking long