OMG these past couple days have been: LAX, TITS!, BOSS, EPIC, MUCHO GUSTA, NO ME GUSTA, HOSS, AND RIDICULOUS!!!! As we all know these past couple of days have ranged between christmas eve, to the day after christmas. So lets start at the beginning. Christmas eve. Started out going to practice at 10 ending at 12, easy practice. Then progressed to Kendricking (he deserves his own verb at this point) till about....i want to say 6/7 ish, and that was pretty boss, and then my dad summoned me home to wrap gifts and get james gifts out of my car. So then I wrapped gifts until like 11/12ish. No big deal. Day over all was pretty Lax.
Christmas morning arrives, not feeling like christmas morning at all. But I unwrap presents, and we do out silly little traditions that we all do, and it slowly progressed to christmas. Mom and Dad got HOSS stuff. I got a leather jacket, wireless headphones, just overall ridiculously amazing stuff. Then family came over, we had our traditional family party, with everyone being all merry, joky, and judging of how well we r developing. So I put on my little mask, and i worked the room, unfortunately for me that with with the older women, because i do not have a taste for basketball. Then we ate, all was merry, dog got into some gifts, and a pie, and then we opened gifts. I got bumpcus for most of my realitves this year. But whatever, they tried, i really liked aunt pats, she turned some drawings of mine she saw on facebook, and made them into postage stamps :D. It was cool, I got to show people my art, and they were all impressed. And thats how that day ended. I was cranky by the end of it, and over all it was a Boss day.
Then today. Madness. I just need a moment to channel my thoughts for this one. Started off at about 9, where i got up, fixed my hair, put on a nice simple black tshirt and jeans, withdrew 200 dollars for the car accident i got into, to pay for repairs, yes i did get in car accident, no big deal, did everything under the table, and i made him, and a witness, sign something saying that he recieved the payment, and overall, wasnt a bad accident, but still an accident. Then, I went over to pick up Kendrick from carpool to go Kendricking for the rest of the day, at around 12. It was good, we started off going to Elyses, and let her dogs out, so they could get some fresh air, and go crazy. Then we went to the mall. Now the mall itself was quite vacant. But the parking lot was beyond ridiculous. So I think it will be a brilliant idea to try the parking garage, and go up to the top floor to see if theres a spot. DUMB! We get there, there are no spots, so i try to get out, and then we get stuck in the getting out line, for an hour, without moving. But then, just when i was about to kill myself, the most amazing woman appears and pulls out in the exact spot that i need her to. It was perfect. She pulled out, I pulled into the spot, and then Kendrick and I got out, and were getting ready to go Kendricking. We get into the mall, nowhere near as many ppl as we anticipated, and we r in line for chicfila, and i hear someone scream my name. I turn around, and I see Hope. Hope! I love her sooo much, but omg, i am completely two different people when I am with either one of them. It was sooo awkward trying to juggle them both, with my two personalities coming out at once. I hope that NEVER happens again. Eventually, after a while, we send her on her way, she was mega sore from her wisdom teeth being pulled (ouch!) and Kendrick and I finish malling it up. Then we decide we r gunna go see Spirt, at 7:40 at Snowden. So we leave at about 6, and we were getting ready for the crazy parking lot madness. When we got there, all the cars were gone! It took us 5 minutes to get out of the mall, and onto route 175! it was amazing! then we went to the movie theater, and got our tickets, and went back to kendricks house to chill for a while, to discover a new car!!!!!! THEY BOUGHT A NEW CAR!!!!! it was crazy. The thing is HUGE!!! and the nicest car I think ive ever seen. Its soo amazing. And then Mrs. McDonald took us (Ken, me, and Mr.) out and around the hood. Its amazing. But then we left for the movie. MOVIE WAS AMAZING!!!!!! i loved it sooo much. So many inside jokes between me and Kendrick now. So then after the movie I drop Kendrick off and then go home. You think the story is finished yes? It has only begun.
Soooo....then I come home all ready to help my mom wrap gifts, and she was all, just do it tomorrow, and i was all ok, and then she was all, u have to stop lying to me, and i was all, i didnt do anything! and she was all i looke at ur grades. Now you see, I told my mom I got three As and a B, lies, i got one A one B+ and two Bs. Fan freaking tastic. Really, the only reason I lied to my mom was because I was lying to myself. I didnt want to accept that I am not that smart, or that there is probably no chance of me getting into vet school, that was what i had just centered my life around, and now i have to concider another career, and then ill be changing evrything that i was, everything that i told people i was going to do, and now...i feel like im giving up on myself and everyone. I am just so vain. The main reason I am freaking out about this is because I know my image will be completely ruined now, and how everyone who thought me as smart is now going to realize that im a fake........Ughghghghghghg. Thats the problem. I have no actual skill i can call my own. With each click of friends I molded myself to fit a different persona. With the smart nerdy kids, I was the swimmer jock. With my swimming friends, I was the smarty pants nerd. With my artsy friends, I was the nerdy swimmer. Holding on to that, I was able to look at the person next to me, and tell myself that it was ok that they were soooo much better than me, I swim, or im smart, or i can do art. When in reality I cant really do any of those things. Im having a bit of a mental breakdown here. I dont know who I want to be. I dont know what I want. I just dont know. coming home has made me realize what an act I put on for everyone, everyone. Its different for each person too. This is why it was so hard to have Hope and Kendrick at the same time. With Hope I am the crazy outgoing funny guy, buy with Kendrick I am a bit some reserved, and quiet smarty pants, and this is because Hope is the art kid and kendrick is the nerdy swimmer, so i play the outgoing swimmer smarty pants card with Hope, and the artsy smart kid with Kendrick, when both dont realize that I am not that smart (and dont dare anyone say other wise to try and make me feel better, because it is simply not true) and I am not that good at art, and I am not that great of a swimmer. I am sooo frustrated. I have build my life around what other people expected me to be, what they thought would be good for me, what makes me feel like im better than them. This is why this is such a hard blow. I dont want to admit that I am not special, I dont matter. I am just an average kid. Normal. Not any different than the morons that are on Gilmore 4. I need to ruminate on this. I need to figure out what i want to do, i need to find that thing that makes me special. Because without it, I really dont know who Edward Hackett is. As you can tell, today was a roller coaster of a day.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
What is with my life
Soooooo......long story short, swimming kinda dominated my life back in the good old high school years from 10-12th grade. I am home, and I am going to all those practices that I need to start to catch up, and beyond being sore, I have discover that I have little life outside this sport. It is kinda SAD! I mean, I love the sport, and I love pushing my body to its physical limit (which is currently shorter than I would like it to be), but seriously, what am I going to do when I dont make the UC Davis team? mur.
Simply being realistic here people. As much as I would love to experience a new thing, like college swimming, I am simply being realistic. I have little chance to drop about ten seconds in any 100 event, or twenty seconds in any 200 event XP. sooo basically, I have to go a 49 in my 100 bk, when i go a 58, a 1:48 in my 200 bk, when i go a 2:01.....and i have to do this in about a two/three month span. Seriously? It doesnt mean I am giving up. I just makes me simply discouraged even further. I also think I am going to join to UC davis water polo team, when i fail to make the standards for swimming. As much as I dont want to give up swimming, I am slowly beginning to realize that it was not the actually sport of swimming that made me happy (dont get me wrong i do love the sport) it was the people that made it worth while. And now that everyone is basically gone, the only think that is even keeping me at clippers practice is Naka...XP. I dont even know what I am going to do when I get back to davis. I really dont like any of the kids on the Davis team. I like a few kids, but only a few, actually more like one. As a group, they arent the friendliest bunch.....im am over thinking this no doubt. My BIGGEST problem. I over think fucking EVERYTHING!
I feel like a freaking girl. Constantly over analyzing, and making interpretations, and judging, and, and, and....ahhhhhhhh. Freakin narcissistic or something? I am currently making Jenn find the right word for me, because I could not find it, and I would not stop looking for it, until I found it, END BAD SENTENCE! I am so not excited to get back to davis now. I mucho excited to see all my friends/ roomies/ shack mates. I miss them soo much, and our craza moments, and craza life style. Problem is when I go back, is that I more than likely will not get to enjoy this lifestyle for a while XP. I will be in training mode....which means my social life will slowly die for a little while = unhappy eddie. But I just have to remember of the benefits for killing myself like this. And whats even better, is that I will still have to continue to kill myself even if I make the team, the only difference is that there will, more than likely, be people that I will like on the team. Thats the goal here, get to a team, where I like the people, and can actually enjoy the benefits socially, and physically from swimming. Unfortunately, this comes at a bit of a sacrifice....
If I do get involved in college swimming, I am really afraid that all other aspects of my life will suffer because of it. College swimmers are just that, college swimmers, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. They arent academics, they arent artsy, they are simply athletes......and those that are something beyond just the narrow scope they have been slotted to, it takes much, much longer for them to finish college. and I am already going to grad school, I am going to be practically dead by the time I get out of vet school, IF i get into vet school. And then I proabably wont be able to do my minors, or that specialization in marine mammals that I wanted to do. FAIL! and than theres my social life. I would be taking a big risk in the gambit called social networking. I absolutely adore the friends I have now, and if I do actually, by some miracle (theyve happened to me ppl) I will most likely be ditching them, for the swim team. Athletes generally, dont go outside theyre own social network. And I love my pals, my amigos, my chums!!! And I know I will love these new people, but who am I to decide fate? Mucho frustrating. I think I just need to chill, and see what happens, I guess. I dont know......I dont like leaving things in the hands of other people. I like deciding my own options, and making my own decisions. Basically, by trying out, I will be going in with soo much uncertainty and I will basically leaving my fate in the hands of this coach, who will decide if i make the team or not. XP.
My god, I think wayyy too much. I need an off switch for my brain! Its preventing me from sleeping. Its 12 now, and I doubt i will fall asleep till 2 or something like that, and I have to go to the pool at 10, which means il be up at like 9/ 9:30. Which isnt that bad......but, I would like a good 8 hours of sleep, as opposed to the 7/6 i will most likely be getting. Other than that, you are probably wondering about my life as of present, not as of future, which hasnt even come yet, which makes me wonder why the fuck I am worrying so much about this, when there is nothing to be done yet, other than struggle at practice....anyway...
lets see, this week has been fairly uneventful. Hung out with kendrick on Saturday, which a blast!!!!! I missed hanging out with that kid, and his family is sooo nice to me :D. Makes me feel right at home being with them. Then I went to my own holiday party after hanging with him, and that was nice seeing everyone from the family friend department. Nice to know noone has changed, and they most likely never will. Then I went back to Kendrick's house, so I could drive him to morning practice the next day, and get 25 bucks from Mr. McDonald, easiest 25 dollas eva!!!
Then Sunday was fairly uneventful, I dont recall doing anything, other than thinking that ken and I were suppose to go shopping, but instead i ended up reading most the afternoon, which was not as fun, but still satisfying in its own way.
Then Monday, my brother and I got kicked out of the house so the cleaning lady could, well, clean. It was awkward, my brother and I arent very, well, close. So, we didnt really do anything together, and i dropped him off at a friends house after he went christmas shopping. Then I saw Christa (ok this is complicated, Chirsta is a Susan's (Kendrick's mom) good friend/neighbor) and her kids with Kellen (Kendircks sister) (yes its weird, but Ive become very close to all of them) at target. Made it a tad awkward by asking for a certain pajama pants, where they are in little to no position to get me a christmas gift, but other than that it was a nice time. Then I went to practice. Did ok in the pool, killed myself in dryland, causing Tuesday (today) to be bad.
Tuesday, kinda sucked. I spent the greater part of the day baking cookies, a 400 some number, and then went to prac. It was breaststroke day. Why I ever swam breakstroke of my own free will, I will never know. But I did, and I died, and was very frustrated with myself because since I couldnt go fast on the br, i didnt get go as fast as I should on the free. XP. But then I killed myself in dryland again....so tomorrow wont be any better. Well thats not true, I am sure it will be, since its chirstmas eve, nothing to get too worked up about.
And thats the update for now. Practice is sucking because I am out of shape, and no one form high school is there. I only have Naka an Kelsey, who is currently mad at me, after my little breaststroke incident, which I dont blame her for, cause it really sucked. Beyond sucked, it was like i had intaken i fist full of soil and then pooped it out the next day. Yea I went there!
I guess I should stop typing before this gets any longer, and maybe i should get some sleep? Big day of wrapping tomorrow.....fun.............. actually i will enjoy the time where i can spend it not thinking :D
Simply being realistic here people. As much as I would love to experience a new thing, like college swimming, I am simply being realistic. I have little chance to drop about ten seconds in any 100 event, or twenty seconds in any 200 event XP. sooo basically, I have to go a 49 in my 100 bk, when i go a 58, a 1:48 in my 200 bk, when i go a 2:01.....and i have to do this in about a two/three month span. Seriously? It doesnt mean I am giving up. I just makes me simply discouraged even further. I also think I am going to join to UC davis water polo team, when i fail to make the standards for swimming. As much as I dont want to give up swimming, I am slowly beginning to realize that it was not the actually sport of swimming that made me happy (dont get me wrong i do love the sport) it was the people that made it worth while. And now that everyone is basically gone, the only think that is even keeping me at clippers practice is Naka...XP. I dont even know what I am going to do when I get back to davis. I really dont like any of the kids on the Davis team. I like a few kids, but only a few, actually more like one. As a group, they arent the friendliest bunch.....im am over thinking this no doubt. My BIGGEST problem. I over think fucking EVERYTHING!
I feel like a freaking girl. Constantly over analyzing, and making interpretations, and judging, and, and, and....ahhhhhhhh. Freakin narcissistic or something? I am currently making Jenn find the right word for me, because I could not find it, and I would not stop looking for it, until I found it, END BAD SENTENCE! I am so not excited to get back to davis now. I mucho excited to see all my friends/ roomies/ shack mates. I miss them soo much, and our craza moments, and craza life style. Problem is when I go back, is that I more than likely will not get to enjoy this lifestyle for a while XP. I will be in training mode....which means my social life will slowly die for a little while = unhappy eddie. But I just have to remember of the benefits for killing myself like this. And whats even better, is that I will still have to continue to kill myself even if I make the team, the only difference is that there will, more than likely, be people that I will like on the team. Thats the goal here, get to a team, where I like the people, and can actually enjoy the benefits socially, and physically from swimming. Unfortunately, this comes at a bit of a sacrifice....
If I do get involved in college swimming, I am really afraid that all other aspects of my life will suffer because of it. College swimmers are just that, college swimmers, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. They arent academics, they arent artsy, they are simply athletes......and those that are something beyond just the narrow scope they have been slotted to, it takes much, much longer for them to finish college. and I am already going to grad school, I am going to be practically dead by the time I get out of vet school, IF i get into vet school. And then I proabably wont be able to do my minors, or that specialization in marine mammals that I wanted to do. FAIL! and than theres my social life. I would be taking a big risk in the gambit called social networking. I absolutely adore the friends I have now, and if I do actually, by some miracle (theyve happened to me ppl) I will most likely be ditching them, for the swim team. Athletes generally, dont go outside theyre own social network. And I love my pals, my amigos, my chums!!! And I know I will love these new people, but who am I to decide fate? Mucho frustrating. I think I just need to chill, and see what happens, I guess. I dont know......I dont like leaving things in the hands of other people. I like deciding my own options, and making my own decisions. Basically, by trying out, I will be going in with soo much uncertainty and I will basically leaving my fate in the hands of this coach, who will decide if i make the team or not. XP.
My god, I think wayyy too much. I need an off switch for my brain! Its preventing me from sleeping. Its 12 now, and I doubt i will fall asleep till 2 or something like that, and I have to go to the pool at 10, which means il be up at like 9/ 9:30. Which isnt that bad......but, I would like a good 8 hours of sleep, as opposed to the 7/6 i will most likely be getting. Other than that, you are probably wondering about my life as of present, not as of future, which hasnt even come yet, which makes me wonder why the fuck I am worrying so much about this, when there is nothing to be done yet, other than struggle at practice....anyway...
lets see, this week has been fairly uneventful. Hung out with kendrick on Saturday, which a blast!!!!! I missed hanging out with that kid, and his family is sooo nice to me :D. Makes me feel right at home being with them. Then I went to my own holiday party after hanging with him, and that was nice seeing everyone from the family friend department. Nice to know noone has changed, and they most likely never will. Then I went back to Kendrick's house, so I could drive him to morning practice the next day, and get 25 bucks from Mr. McDonald, easiest 25 dollas eva!!!
Then Sunday was fairly uneventful, I dont recall doing anything, other than thinking that ken and I were suppose to go shopping, but instead i ended up reading most the afternoon, which was not as fun, but still satisfying in its own way.
Then Monday, my brother and I got kicked out of the house so the cleaning lady could, well, clean. It was awkward, my brother and I arent very, well, close. So, we didnt really do anything together, and i dropped him off at a friends house after he went christmas shopping. Then I saw Christa (ok this is complicated, Chirsta is a Susan's (Kendrick's mom) good friend/neighbor) and her kids with Kellen (Kendircks sister) (yes its weird, but Ive become very close to all of them) at target. Made it a tad awkward by asking for a certain pajama pants, where they are in little to no position to get me a christmas gift, but other than that it was a nice time. Then I went to practice. Did ok in the pool, killed myself in dryland, causing Tuesday (today) to be bad.
Tuesday, kinda sucked. I spent the greater part of the day baking cookies, a 400 some number, and then went to prac. It was breaststroke day. Why I ever swam breakstroke of my own free will, I will never know. But I did, and I died, and was very frustrated with myself because since I couldnt go fast on the br, i didnt get go as fast as I should on the free. XP. But then I killed myself in dryland again....so tomorrow wont be any better. Well thats not true, I am sure it will be, since its chirstmas eve, nothing to get too worked up about.
And thats the update for now. Practice is sucking because I am out of shape, and no one form high school is there. I only have Naka an Kelsey, who is currently mad at me, after my little breaststroke incident, which I dont blame her for, cause it really sucked. Beyond sucked, it was like i had intaken i fist full of soil and then pooped it out the next day. Yea I went there!
I guess I should stop typing before this gets any longer, and maybe i should get some sleep? Big day of wrapping tomorrow.....fun.............. actually i will enjoy the time where i can spend it not thinking :D
Friday, December 19, 2008
home
so being home is really weird. Basically, time has stood still here, and ive changed soooo much.....its a little weird. I went to see my teachers today, most of them i actually wanted to see, and i said hi, and they asked how is my life now in CA, and i say its amazing, and then we have some nice, some petty, discussion, but really nothing at school has changed. The administration is full of morons, there are some amazing teachers, and some really stupid ones.......its just weird.
Being in the clippers pool really sucks now. The sets are sooooo stupid, and there is noone to really swim with, kendrick is gone, kim quit swimming, nour isnt back yet, and that leaves me and the kelseys.....it sucks. Not to mention that im kinda dead from practice, i really struggled the past couple of days, probably from not being able to go to all the practices in davis....but that will change when i can finally make them all. I mean dont get me wrong, they are oging to suck for the first couple of weeks, and probably only going to get worse, and I dont really like most of the people there......it just really sucks. :P I really just want to suck it up this year and try out for the uc davis team in march. OMG i really want to be on the davis team, if i make it, i will extremely happy. But 90 percent says that i wont make the team, and if i dont make the team, i do not think i will be swimming next year. Too much time spent with people i dont really hang out with/ like. As much as i enjoy swimming, i think the only reason i enjoyed it was because i had all my friends there, i really dont want to frustrate myself with all this confusion. So thats that. I am going to work really hard from the start of january, and then try out for the davis team in march. If i make it, yay!!! if i dont, then im done XP. This is a really shitty conclusion to something i have only being doing for like 3 years. Ughghgh, i wish i had started swimming when i was younger! i would be sooo fast right now, but no, i started in my sophmore year of high school! DUMB!
and then theres clippers, ohhhh i really hate clippers right now. Jeff has been helping the current seniors get signed with other swimming schools to swim, and for money. I ask you, WHERE THE FUCK WAS HE WHEN I WAS DOING THAT SHIT! He is talking to them about the letters hes getting from colleges about different kids swimming for their school, i wasnt THAT bad, i had descent times! come on. Not fair! Whatever. I am trying to picture where i would be if i had signed with a school for swimming. Probably not at a very good school.....I do love where i am, i just ruminating on what could have been. :P.
mur. Ughghhg, its always really frustrating to picture what my life could have been. Ex: i couldve gone to private school, but i kno for a fact i wouldnt be swimming right now. Another, I shouldve started swimming younger and then i would be at some other MD school, being all super fast in the pool, but probably really dumb! Ufhhfhfghgh. Mucho frustrated. I cant go back to davis right now, and see the people who like the me that i am, and not what i could be. I think everyone here expects me to be something i am not! My swimmer friends what me to be a super fast swimmer. My school friends expect that i am going to be a super smarty pants. And my karate friends expect that i teach in davis......too many people, too many expectations. I am only one person!!!! But that is a deep emotional problem that i have to solve after i deal with this swimmer thing. I think i really have to learn to be ok with me, not who people expect me to be. This is why i need to go back to davis. Nobody expects anything from me, expect to be a smarty pants, but that is generally easy, easier than being a super smarty pants. Its nice that people except you the way that you are, and not what they think you should be.....i am going to ruminate on that further.
Other than that, the week was pretty uneventful. Went to dinner with hope yesterday, went to dinner with kendrick and his family to celebrate his 15th bday, its weird but they are basically my family now :P, and then got iced in at kendricks house because i was too afraid to drive the night before. That is pretty much it :D. I am just ready to get my life back to where IIIIII want it ( I tried to find a way to emphasize I, since its already capitalized, so i thought repeating it would do the trick). Thanks for excepting me the way i am guys!
Being in the clippers pool really sucks now. The sets are sooooo stupid, and there is noone to really swim with, kendrick is gone, kim quit swimming, nour isnt back yet, and that leaves me and the kelseys.....it sucks. Not to mention that im kinda dead from practice, i really struggled the past couple of days, probably from not being able to go to all the practices in davis....but that will change when i can finally make them all. I mean dont get me wrong, they are oging to suck for the first couple of weeks, and probably only going to get worse, and I dont really like most of the people there......it just really sucks. :P I really just want to suck it up this year and try out for the uc davis team in march. OMG i really want to be on the davis team, if i make it, i will extremely happy. But 90 percent says that i wont make the team, and if i dont make the team, i do not think i will be swimming next year. Too much time spent with people i dont really hang out with/ like. As much as i enjoy swimming, i think the only reason i enjoyed it was because i had all my friends there, i really dont want to frustrate myself with all this confusion. So thats that. I am going to work really hard from the start of january, and then try out for the davis team in march. If i make it, yay!!! if i dont, then im done XP. This is a really shitty conclusion to something i have only being doing for like 3 years. Ughghgh, i wish i had started swimming when i was younger! i would be sooo fast right now, but no, i started in my sophmore year of high school! DUMB!
and then theres clippers, ohhhh i really hate clippers right now. Jeff has been helping the current seniors get signed with other swimming schools to swim, and for money. I ask you, WHERE THE FUCK WAS HE WHEN I WAS DOING THAT SHIT! He is talking to them about the letters hes getting from colleges about different kids swimming for their school, i wasnt THAT bad, i had descent times! come on. Not fair! Whatever. I am trying to picture where i would be if i had signed with a school for swimming. Probably not at a very good school.....I do love where i am, i just ruminating on what could have been. :P.
mur. Ughghhg, its always really frustrating to picture what my life could have been. Ex: i couldve gone to private school, but i kno for a fact i wouldnt be swimming right now. Another, I shouldve started swimming younger and then i would be at some other MD school, being all super fast in the pool, but probably really dumb! Ufhhfhfghgh. Mucho frustrated. I cant go back to davis right now, and see the people who like the me that i am, and not what i could be. I think everyone here expects me to be something i am not! My swimmer friends what me to be a super fast swimmer. My school friends expect that i am going to be a super smarty pants. And my karate friends expect that i teach in davis......too many people, too many expectations. I am only one person!!!! But that is a deep emotional problem that i have to solve after i deal with this swimmer thing. I think i really have to learn to be ok with me, not who people expect me to be. This is why i need to go back to davis. Nobody expects anything from me, expect to be a smarty pants, but that is generally easy, easier than being a super smarty pants. Its nice that people except you the way that you are, and not what they think you should be.....i am going to ruminate on that further.
Other than that, the week was pretty uneventful. Went to dinner with hope yesterday, went to dinner with kendrick and his family to celebrate his 15th bday, its weird but they are basically my family now :P, and then got iced in at kendricks house because i was too afraid to drive the night before. That is pretty much it :D. I am just ready to get my life back to where IIIIII want it ( I tried to find a way to emphasize I, since its already capitalized, so i thought repeating it would do the trick). Thanks for excepting me the way i am guys!
Friday, December 12, 2008
airport
Wow, havent done this a while.....where to start
ok, Thanksgiving passed, and so did finals.....a dark chapter of my life i dont wish to revisit any time soon...........and so did the swim meet. Lets start there
Soooo, the swim meet, the first 200 of my 500 fr was amazing, i went like a 1:56, and kicking some serious butts. But then, i died.......and came back, very slow.......made me sad. But then I was all like, ok, cool, i can go fast in the 200 and the 100 fr im swimming over the weekend, its ok. And that held true for the most part. I swam the 100 fr, and i did well, went a 53 low, and then the 100 bk was bad.....but its ok, the 100 fr was good, equilibrium was meet. But then, I was all ready to swim my 200s.......and then my alarm clock didnt go off.......i tried to call brad, and he tried to call me, but we dont have each others numbers......i was so upset, i wouldve won high point award, and probably gotten a best time XP. My life is very frustrating when it comes to karma. But whatever, I justified this happening by saying it was a good excuse to study for my two finals on Monday, of which, both required little studying at all XP.
I guess that moves the conversation neatly to the subject of finals themselves. A fun topic. The first two were on Monday, and I killed them. I smushed them on the ground and beat them so far down into submission that i couldve bottled it for convenience (Thats for Jessay). And then I was all nervous for my last final yesterday, in math. I was all like, OMG i learned soooo much, iz gunna not remember any of it. As it turns out, it was fairly easy, and I think I did well. But that was with a massive amount of studyin, tada! Poor Jenn and Jess, they have poor study habits and they really dont kno how to study at all......I kinda picked it up last year, on the fine thread of failing AP chemistry....IRONY? But theyre both smart cookies and they survived, and Jenn will most likely do so well, we question the size of her brain again.....oh Jenn. But all in all, it went well, Hopefully.
Now for the most important fact of this week. IM GOING HOME! finally. I am so excited. I am currently sitting at the airport, waiting for someone to say my plane has arrived and i can get on it, so i may depart to the magical land of Maryland :D. Of course it will only remain magical until I am actually there. When I get there, I am sure it will no longer be amazing as I remember it. And Im ok with that. But I am sad to be leaving my home, yes my davis home. I love Davis and I love my friends....iz gunna miss them. Especially after that pushing daisies, not really marathon, more of a spree, with Jessy last night. It was amazing, went saw the latest episode, and then went rummaging for top quotes. I cant wait to come back and watch all of them with her!!!! Jess really understands my love of this show. No one else really gets it, and thats ok, it just makes talking in public awkward.
BTW, its suppose to snow when i get home....SNOW! so exciting. Its not even cold enough to freeze ice here, and its gunna SNOW back in MD. Iz excited.
As for the rest of the week, most of it consisted of finals, nothing eventful. But, I was interested to find that when i posted a quiz to see how well people knew me, my sister knew me the best. She knew me better than any one of my friends. Shes seen me when ive been amazing, and when ive been like shit. She gets me :D. I was also pleased to find that other than that, most people dont kno that much about me......and that is good. I dont like getting too attached to anyone. Oh, I also was able to determine that Jenn, is evil/ amazing....shes like Voldomort, with a vagina.
ok, Thanksgiving passed, and so did finals.....a dark chapter of my life i dont wish to revisit any time soon...........and so did the swim meet. Lets start there
Soooo, the swim meet, the first 200 of my 500 fr was amazing, i went like a 1:56, and kicking some serious butts. But then, i died.......and came back, very slow.......made me sad. But then I was all like, ok, cool, i can go fast in the 200 and the 100 fr im swimming over the weekend, its ok. And that held true for the most part. I swam the 100 fr, and i did well, went a 53 low, and then the 100 bk was bad.....but its ok, the 100 fr was good, equilibrium was meet. But then, I was all ready to swim my 200s.......and then my alarm clock didnt go off.......i tried to call brad, and he tried to call me, but we dont have each others numbers......i was so upset, i wouldve won high point award, and probably gotten a best time XP. My life is very frustrating when it comes to karma. But whatever, I justified this happening by saying it was a good excuse to study for my two finals on Monday, of which, both required little studying at all XP.
I guess that moves the conversation neatly to the subject of finals themselves. A fun topic. The first two were on Monday, and I killed them. I smushed them on the ground and beat them so far down into submission that i couldve bottled it for convenience (Thats for Jessay). And then I was all nervous for my last final yesterday, in math. I was all like, OMG i learned soooo much, iz gunna not remember any of it. As it turns out, it was fairly easy, and I think I did well. But that was with a massive amount of studyin, tada! Poor Jenn and Jess, they have poor study habits and they really dont kno how to study at all......I kinda picked it up last year, on the fine thread of failing AP chemistry....IRONY? But theyre both smart cookies and they survived, and Jenn will most likely do so well, we question the size of her brain again.....oh Jenn. But all in all, it went well, Hopefully.
Now for the most important fact of this week. IM GOING HOME! finally. I am so excited. I am currently sitting at the airport, waiting for someone to say my plane has arrived and i can get on it, so i may depart to the magical land of Maryland :D. Of course it will only remain magical until I am actually there. When I get there, I am sure it will no longer be amazing as I remember it. And Im ok with that. But I am sad to be leaving my home, yes my davis home. I love Davis and I love my friends....iz gunna miss them. Especially after that pushing daisies, not really marathon, more of a spree, with Jessy last night. It was amazing, went saw the latest episode, and then went rummaging for top quotes. I cant wait to come back and watch all of them with her!!!! Jess really understands my love of this show. No one else really gets it, and thats ok, it just makes talking in public awkward.
BTW, its suppose to snow when i get home....SNOW! so exciting. Its not even cold enough to freeze ice here, and its gunna SNOW back in MD. Iz excited.
As for the rest of the week, most of it consisted of finals, nothing eventful. But, I was interested to find that when i posted a quiz to see how well people knew me, my sister knew me the best. She knew me better than any one of my friends. Shes seen me when ive been amazing, and when ive been like shit. She gets me :D. I was also pleased to find that other than that, most people dont kno that much about me......and that is good. I dont like getting too attached to anyone. Oh, I also was able to determine that Jenn, is evil/ amazing....shes like Voldomort, with a vagina.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Its day three of my epic journey of going deep inside the land of epic boredom, and after nearly avoiding deathly scenarios, and earth shattering combats, I have survived. For those of you who appreciate my sarcasm, i want to let you know, that i appreciate you. Last night was actually somewhat interesting. I was talking to my baby Naka and we were talking about when i come home, I will be going down to Castles/ PV Classic/ whatever the fuck it is called.......it always keeps changing.........and after a while, he convinced me that I should at least swim one event. So, I emailed Jeff seeing if the feat is actually possible. I am fairly sure it is, because I am registered for USA swimming for my new swim team, so I am pretty sure that I will be swimming. But, I had to choose an event. My choices where between 50 bk, and 200 fly, great options. So naturally I chose the 200 fly over the 50 bk, any day. This is going to be a bitch swim, but I am pretty much guaranteed to make finals. I will be going down to VA, which is about an hour from my house, swimming in prelims, chillin with my peeps till finals, and then swim finals. I am so excited!!!! kinda nervous, cause im not going to do that well, but it will be fun to see everyone cheering for me, hopefully!!!!!!!!
Two more weeks left, one would naturally think that I would be studying all this time being alone. Nope. I have been doing about everything other than studying. I went over a couple of my notes for the lab final this week......that is about it. Other than that, I havent done squat XP. I feel like when all my friends come back, I will get my butt back in action, and start studying again. I have also taken myself to go the gym everyday, and go to practice on top of that. This should be interesting.....OHHH and i was thinking about dying my hair, nothing crazy or ridiculous, just a dark brown. Crazy? idk, just to see what it looks like. Anyone protest?
Two more weeks left, one would naturally think that I would be studying all this time being alone. Nope. I have been doing about everything other than studying. I went over a couple of my notes for the lab final this week......that is about it. Other than that, I havent done squat XP. I feel like when all my friends come back, I will get my butt back in action, and start studying again. I have also taken myself to go the gym everyday, and go to practice on top of that. This should be interesting.....OHHH and i was thinking about dying my hair, nothing crazy or ridiculous, just a dark brown. Crazy? idk, just to see what it looks like. Anyone protest?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving
well, its here people, Thanksgiving. Do you know what i am doing right now? I will tell you what i am not doing. I am not home with my family, and more importantly animals. I am stuck in davis, with no one here. No Jenn, no Jess, no Sarah, no Lauren, no Evan, hell, WILL ISNT EVEN HERE. Although, i seriously doubt i would ever be that desperate.....i dont know what we would even talk about! But anyway, I am so bored, that i have nothing to do, except blog. So here it is, me blogging.
New Stuff: besides missing my friends, i do have some new stuff. I skipped alot of swimming this week because practices werent at an ideal time, so i only went to one practice this week, which is not going to be good for my meet coming up. But, I know i really shouldnt be stressing this meet, because i am not really going to be knuckling down for practices until after the break. That will be intresting. Right now I am going to work hard on my body. Yes, my body. This is so vain, but, I want to make sure I look good. So I am going to set up a schedule for working out in the gym for about an hour, or maybe more. All of it will be muscle development, because swimming is what works my cardio. I think if i do it everyday, at certain time, I will actually do it, everyday. I think I will do it after class, from 12-1, or maybe later. Then I can go to lunch, and then go to swim practice. That will last me for a while. :) Although, this plan is only going to last for a while because the quarter ends in about two weeks! which means finals are coming up REALLY soon, which is making me really nervous. Ughhghg, i probably should get to studying for my finals. But, on the upside, when fnals are finally over, I can finally go home, and relax with my animals. Too bad it will only last about two weeks XP. And it will be busy. Right when I get home, I am going to Virginia the next day to see my friends swim at Castles, then on Sunday I am saying hi to everyone back home. Then, I start work at the vet hospital on Monday, and then I have to stay there till I leave, Jan 1. Ughghgh, I barley have a break at all. But, I am looking forward to my next set of classes for the following quarter. I am taking Avian Science 11, Bio Med Calculus C, Chemistry B, and a writing class, ironically, not the writing class i need before my first year ends, but its a writing class. I have to take the writing test right when i get back from my vacation, to see if i need to take a basic writing class, i probably will fail XP. Not looking forward to that.
Old Stuff: Some fun stuff has happened recently, that i havent got to write about. Going chronologically, I saw Twilight. It was very good, although it made me really homesick seeing how much my life is like the movie. But, after the movie, I wa sto go to a discussion were we analyze the movie, but it was an all girl thing, and i was the only boy. Equals disaster. They were all being femist, and I was all being a man, and eventually i simply shut my mouth, as to not get plastered for forming my own opinion. Life, what can you do. Then, on Wends, i finished up my last class, and I had nothing left to do, because all my friends had already gone home. So I sat in the large open room, by myself, and just decided to sit in on the next class. Apparently it was organic chemistry. They were taking a quiz. I failed it. But afterward, I took notes on what the proffessor was lecturing about, it was quite fascinating, actually. Other than that, it has been an uneventful week. I need to do my chem lab over the break. I might just do it now, to get it over and done with, but i need to do it, never the less. So yea, thats the update, not much going on, and cant wait for everyone to get back!
New Stuff: besides missing my friends, i do have some new stuff. I skipped alot of swimming this week because practices werent at an ideal time, so i only went to one practice this week, which is not going to be good for my meet coming up. But, I know i really shouldnt be stressing this meet, because i am not really going to be knuckling down for practices until after the break. That will be intresting. Right now I am going to work hard on my body. Yes, my body. This is so vain, but, I want to make sure I look good. So I am going to set up a schedule for working out in the gym for about an hour, or maybe more. All of it will be muscle development, because swimming is what works my cardio. I think if i do it everyday, at certain time, I will actually do it, everyday. I think I will do it after class, from 12-1, or maybe later. Then I can go to lunch, and then go to swim practice. That will last me for a while. :) Although, this plan is only going to last for a while because the quarter ends in about two weeks! which means finals are coming up REALLY soon, which is making me really nervous. Ughhghg, i probably should get to studying for my finals. But, on the upside, when fnals are finally over, I can finally go home, and relax with my animals. Too bad it will only last about two weeks XP. And it will be busy. Right when I get home, I am going to Virginia the next day to see my friends swim at Castles, then on Sunday I am saying hi to everyone back home. Then, I start work at the vet hospital on Monday, and then I have to stay there till I leave, Jan 1. Ughghgh, I barley have a break at all. But, I am looking forward to my next set of classes for the following quarter. I am taking Avian Science 11, Bio Med Calculus C, Chemistry B, and a writing class, ironically, not the writing class i need before my first year ends, but its a writing class. I have to take the writing test right when i get back from my vacation, to see if i need to take a basic writing class, i probably will fail XP. Not looking forward to that.
Old Stuff: Some fun stuff has happened recently, that i havent got to write about. Going chronologically, I saw Twilight. It was very good, although it made me really homesick seeing how much my life is like the movie. But, after the movie, I wa sto go to a discussion were we analyze the movie, but it was an all girl thing, and i was the only boy. Equals disaster. They were all being femist, and I was all being a man, and eventually i simply shut my mouth, as to not get plastered for forming my own opinion. Life, what can you do. Then, on Wends, i finished up my last class, and I had nothing left to do, because all my friends had already gone home. So I sat in the large open room, by myself, and just decided to sit in on the next class. Apparently it was organic chemistry. They were taking a quiz. I failed it. But afterward, I took notes on what the proffessor was lecturing about, it was quite fascinating, actually. Other than that, it has been an uneventful week. I need to do my chem lab over the break. I might just do it now, to get it over and done with, but i need to do it, never the less. So yea, thats the update, not much going on, and cant wait for everyone to get back!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
FIRST MEET! XP
ok, i am so nervous for my first meet. I am freakin out. It is not ok. I am still very much out of shape, I am barley holding 1:08 in prac, for 100 back, i am so scared!!!!! i want this to go well, ugh, I hope it goes well. Anyway, it is offical I am a broke college student. Swimming eats away my money + laundry = broke eddie. But I dont know how much longer i will remain a college student, because I am going to fail out of life. I got a C on my math midterm. It makes me want to scream! I am so upset! I hate math! I did better on my first midterm, without a freakin calculator! ughghgh, FAIL EPICLY! and then I got a B in chem, FAIL! I want AAAAAA. GRRR FAIL. RAWR! i hate life right now. My friend is getting bitchy about my whining, which I guess is understandable, mostly because she is in a similar boat/ worse than me. So, she is thinking of a career change, i am going to hold onto it, and maybe if I cant be a vet, do something else with animal science/ avian science/ art/ whatever else i specialize in. God I am going to cram so much in, in my four year XP, I am excited, but nervous, that I wont be able to keep up with all of it. i miss my friends soooo much! i need them right now! ughgh, i kno it wouldnt matterif i was 10 miles or the 4600 miles, which i am, away from them, but still, i wish they were with me!!!!! i need them, I need them to help me get through this slup. New friends are ok, but they are not the same as my good friends back home XP. AND WHAT MAKES THIS WORSE, WE ARE STUDYIN CATS AND DOGS IN ANI SCI!!! I WANT A KITTY, I WANT MYYYY KITTY!!!! or a puppy, or something! ughhhh, i want a black kitten, social, and i want to name him noodles, and he will be my bestest friend ever. To prove this friendship i will even make a fb for noodles, and make him my top friend! that is how despreate i am for a kitty! mur! bacon!!! ughgh, love blogging right now, it is alleviates my anxiety, good stuff, alright, time to get ready for morning practice. GRAWR!!! HERE WE GO INTO ANOTHER STRESFUL DAY WHERE I HAVE TO WRITE MY ANI SCI PAPER WHICH IS DUE ON FRI, SO NO DISTRACTIONS AFTER 8!!! :( eddie, is not in his happy place
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sooooo my friends through the most amazing party ever, but i couldnt enjoy it, knowing my sister had gotten in a car accident. She called me wishing me a happy birthday, and let me know, on the side, that she got in a car accident. I was worried, she was a bit on the drunk side, so details were vauge, and that only made me worry more. I could not really enjoy myself at all knowing that she might not be ok, or she is in any trouble XP I love her to death, but she makes me worry so much. I feel really bad for everyone throwing me the party, mostly because I was mad at them because I thought they did not appricate me, when they were just keeping a secret.........i suck at figuring people out XP. I called mom and dad, who were of course in bed, and they told me not to worry, and that she was ok. Easier said than done. I was stressing all night, and so I eventually gave up and went back to my room two hours later. I am soooo gald to know that she is ok, and that she told me right away after it happend, I just wish that it didnt happen at all, and at such a rotten time XP. Again thanks for throwing me such an amazing party everyone, and I am sorry I was such a party pooper :(.
ok so, THIS blog is for my family and friends keeping up to date on my life. College is good, very much as I expected. Parties, major studying time, and freaking out about grades while still trying to have a good time. So not too crazy out here in California, but it is not like Maryland, I will say that. Just finished my second wave of midterms, so currently in a no homework phase, even though, I have a paper to write XP. Kinda failing miserably right now. But I am going to keep trying at it. So, thats the update for now, life is pretty good, kinda a struggle right now trying to manage my personal life, and the rest of my life, but I will get through it, just gotta try and be as honest as I can, even it may smash a few peoples feelings. I think I will get started on this paper. Wish me luck XP.
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